Notice Me

21

The night was exactly what I thought it was going to be. It was exactly like every night we spent at Carter's lake house.

There was music blasting from the outdoor speakers, the smell of alcohol was wafting through the air as if the wind itself was made of vodka. The last of the summer heat was still present, even though the sun had disappeared from the sky hours ago. The stars were out in full force, brighter than we ever see them in the city.

It was the kind of night that you remember when you're fifty, your kids are grown and you can barely remember how it felt to be young, and all you have are memories. This kind of night birthed those memories, the laughter of a group of teenagers filling the night as if time was meaningless and we would be young forever.

Yet, it wasn't that kind of night for me, because there was a pit of anxiety in my stomach. I had no idea why, I had no idea what it was stemming from, but I felt it. It was dull, but nagging. A subtle inch in a place that I could never scratch.

"You're not drinking tonight?" Cain asked from beside me, no doubt questioning why there was only soda in my cup.

"Someone has to be sober," I shrugged, not wanting to tell him the truth. I felt like I had to keep my guard up, but I wasn't sure why.

"How many people do you think have had sex in that hot tub?" Cain asked, raising his cup towards the hot tub in question. I followed it, taking sight of the scene ahead of me.

Hot tubs, teenagers and alcohol was a hell of a mix. Whenever you put the three together, you can practically smell the raging pheromones it caused in the air. What I saw was proof of that- Noah and Olivia were almost one as they pressed their bodies against each other. Tyler was whispering into Trinity's ear, apparently their annoyance with each other from earlier had disappeared completely.

Seren was there too, sitting beside Jax. I was thankful that she hadn't seemed to be taken by the spell of Carter's hot tub just yet. Partially because I knew it would upset at least one of the guys, but mostly because it made me uneasy when she hooked up with people when she was so drunk. It felt like they were taking advantage of her, and the worst part is that I don't think they cared, or even considered her altered state while they shoved their tongues down her throat.

"So, let's get into it," Cain asked me, though I didn't turn to look at him. I kept my eyes focused on Seren. She had her head leaned back, resting it on the side of the hot tub. I couldn't tell if her eyes were closed, or if she was looking at the stars. A part of me hoped it was the latter, and that she was seeing the beauty that was still left for her.

"What do you mean?" I asked him, not sure what he was getting at.

"Who do you think has a better chance of getting with Seren," Cain explained, "Carter or Jax?"

As he said the words, Jax himself poked her on the shoulder. She raised her head slowly, blinking rapidly as if she had forgotten where she was. He was holding a joint out to her, and she took it instantly. At the sight of the rolled marijuana, she smiled.

"I mean, why do you think she would ever get with either of them?" I asked Cain, my voice coming out sharper than I meant it to.

"Well, I don't think either of them will ever give up on her," Cain responded, and even though I wasn't looking at him, I could feel him shrugging his shoulders.

"How long has she known them for?" I asked him.

"She's known Jax since middle school, and I think she met Carter freshman year," he said cautiously.

"If she's never expressed interest in them in all that time, don't you think she's probably just not interested in them at all? It's kind of gross to keep pressuring her to change her mind," I told him, watching Seren as she pulled the smoke into her lungs.