Till The End

6

Warnings:
-Mentions death family member because of disease (cancer)
-Suicidal thoughts (short)

(I don't think this is a warning, but there's talk about emetophobia and fear of nausea)

Clay's POV

~ Two Years Later ~

Today was my seventeenth birthday but I wasn't happy at all. A week ago, my mother passed away because of that stupid cancer type running in our family. I lost my grandpa and my mother and my aunt had it too but she was the only one who got better while the doctors told me this cancer type was really treatable.

I didn't have any friends at school either to who I could talk about my grief or my birthday so I felt really alone. I sighed and slowly walked downstairs, seeing my dad and my ten year old brother stand in the door opening.

'Happy birthday!' my father yelled out as he saw me, but I couldn't smile.

'Look, I got cake for you,' he exclaimed as he pointed to the table. 'I also made you breakfast and you can take a piece of cake to school if you want to.'

I smiled awkwardly, not telling him I had not been hungry at all lately. I grabbed the plate of breakfast and slowly started eating it as he ran off to grab something else.

'This might be a really special present for you so I really want you to keep this safe,' my dad stated. He gave me a box and let me open it.

'You know, I don't want to remind you of everything that happened, but mom and I bought this together. She picked this one out.'

I opened it and stared at the necklace in the box, smiling as I took it out and tied it around my neck.

'Thanks,' I mumbled, giving my dad and brother a hug.

My dad rubbed my neck softly and then suddenly froze. I pulled away and looked at him with an awkward look on my face. 'What?'

He softly tapped my neck again and his face turned pale. 'Your lymph nodes are swollen. Only a little, but-.'

I stepped back. 'Stop, don't scare me. I feel fine and the type of cancer is mostly in older women around fifty. I'm just seventeen, I don't have cancer.'

'I'm sorry, but I-.'

'Oh my goodness, please shut up. Don't scare me like this. Everyone has swollen lymph nodes one time.'

⚠️ Talk about emetophobia (nausea)
(I don't think this is a warning, but I wanted to make sure)

'Do you feel anything else? Nausea?'

'No! I'm not nauseous, stop about nausea. I can't even think about what would happen if I was actually nauseous, you know I hate that!' I yelled out.

'I'm sorry,' my dad mumbled.

'Oh my goodness, are any of you nauseous?' I shouted, backing off.

'No,' my dad answered.

'Please, don't lie to me. I'll actually not come back for the next week if any of you feels nauseous.'

'Clay, calm down. No one here is nauseous, it was just a question, okay?'

'Nausea isn't even a symptom of the cancer mom had. Where did you get it from? Am I going to be sick? Please, tell me I'm not going to be sick. What did we eat last night? Food poisoning?'

⚠️ Over

'Clay, shut up now,' my dad yelled as he walked closer to me. 'I just asked the first thing that came to mind since you didn't seem to have a lot of hunger.'

'Are that the first signs of sickness?'

'No, you're totally fine, Clay. Just calm down now and grab your bags to go to school. I bought you some chocolate which you can either eat yourself or give to other people.'

I grabbed them and quickly walked away to the door to catch some air. I ended up walking to school and went inside when I arrived, looking around me if anyone might have remembered my birthday. I would give them a bit of the chocolate my dad gave me.

No one even looked at me and I sadly walked to my classroom as I put the chocolate back in my bag and sat down on my chair, staring at my hands. I just hoped at least someone would have remembered it, but the day passed by the same as it always did.

~~~

I was about to go home after school as two boys ran up to me. Their names were Ant and Bad and they smiled.

'I might have misremembered,' Bad started. 'But I think it's your birthday today.'

I smiled and nodded, opening my bag. 'No one remembered it, but my dad gave me chocolate to share. Do you want some?'

'Sure!' they both answered as I gave them a big piece of chocolate.

'You've turned seventeen today, right?' Ant asked.

I nodded happily, finally feeling a bit of happiness since my classmates never really cared about me.

'We actually just got something for you. That's why we were so late, but we went to the store,' Bad revealed, grabbing his bag. 'Did you get any other presents?'

'Yeah, this necklace and I got a cake. I still need to eat that, but I wasn't really that hungry today,' I answered.

'I saw you were reading a book last day at school and there's also part two of that, so we bought part two for you. I hope you don't have it already, but then we will bring it back,' Ant explained as he smiled and handed me the book.

'I didn't have that yet!' I excitedly smiled. 'Thank you!'

'You're welcome. How are you actually feeling?' Bad questioned. 'I heard of what happened.'

'Oh,' I mumbled. 'Uh- I'm fine, don't worry.'

'Sure?' Bad asked again. 'I lost my father three years ago. It's just hell to go through, but it got easier for me too. As long as you don't bottle up your feelings.'

I shrugged and looked down at my hands. 'I uh- think I have to go home now,' I quickly answered, turning around to walk off.

When I was sure they weren't following me, I felt a tear roll down my face. I hated my life as it was now.

⚠️ Short talk throwing up

I already lost so many people to that stupid disease, my mother fought cancer for seven years and still ended up losing. I had a severe phobia for throwing up and germs after my mother had to throw up next to me because of the chemo and then I didn't have friends either.

⚠️ Over

I knew people had it way worse than me, but I was suicidal sometimes. I lost so many loved ones, I was scared all day and didn't touch anything or anyone because I was so anxious to become sick in any way.

I sighed as I went home, immediately going to my room to spend some time on my own. It would have been so much easier if I just had some friends who could be here for me when I struggled.

1148 words