Saving Riley

2

Riley's POV

This is the last place I thought I would be..
It's been 3 years since I even stepped foot in Toronto, yet here I am back where it all started
The Next Step hasn't changed at all. I remember everything from Regionals all the way to Internationals. It's all so crazy
"Riley" I heard someone say with glee in their tone, I turned on my heels to see Miss Kate stood there looking like she was on the verge of tears
"Miss Kate" I replied as she rushed over to hug me 
"What are you doing here? It's been quite some time" She said as we pulled away
"I know, college was a crazy experience. I'm back for good though I guess" I muttered. My reason for returning wasn't one that I think any of us would have ever expected
"That's amazing! How was Julliard? Have you spoken to anyone?" She asked, I smiled remembering some of my memories from Julliard. That place had so much to offer and you best believe I took as much as I could
"It was amazing, they taught me a hell of a lot and No, nobody knows I'm back" I replied. It's true, no-one had a clue not even Emily
"well don't be a stranger. It'll be nice to have my get it done girl back around" she said smiling
I smiled back before excusing myself

That place was my back bone growing up, I knew I could handle anything life threw at me if it meant I could go to the studio afterwards
The people I met during my time at The Next Step changed my life more then I think any of them realise or would understand
No matter how any of it ended, I know they would all have my back at one single dial..

I knew what today was, Michelle's Instagram story showed it all. I had been invited, I always get the E-vite through my email every year but I don't think she ever thought I would take her up on the offer
But here I stand face to face with not only Michelle but half of A-Troupe.. Including James
"Riley" Michelle said in disbelief before pulling me into a tight hug
Michelle and I used to be so close, she would know something was wrong without even having to be in the same room as me but as we both continued on through college. We lost touch and I miss her. Hell I miss everyone on A-Troupe and I need them right now whether they would take me back or not
"What are you doing here?" She asked, I tucked my hair behind my ear and Michelle realised the tell.. It's what I did when something was bothering me
Michelle looked at me with worry before taking my hand and continuing to what I'm assuming is her bedroom

"What's going on Riles?" Michelle asked as we sat on her bed
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come" I said bowing my head
"nonsense Riley, you are always welcome but what's going on? Where is Lucas?" Michelle asked making my breath hitch at the sound of his name
"We um broke up I think, I mean I left him. I don't think he ever knows I'm gone yet" I rambled. She looked at me confused and of course she was, all anyone saw of Lucas and I was this amazingly happy couple.. They never saw what went on behind closed doors
Even I didn't want to see what happened behind closed doors
"Why did you leave him Riley?" She asked, part of me wanted to tell her everything but I'm too good of a person to ruin someone like that
"it just didn't work out" I said but it sounded more like a question
"Riley" Michelle warned, the jig was up. I had no escape
"I believed he loved me Michelle" I said and she looked at me waiting on me to continue
"I believed he loved me even when he would spend the evenings making me feel so small and insecure" I continued making her gaze soften
"I believed he loved me even with the scars he's left on my body" I said bringing myself to tears
"I believed he loved me even when he took my from everyone, I hadn't seen my family in well over a year and my distance between you guys grew to please him" I cried, Michelle looked at me and her gaze that was once worry had softened to the point she was crying with me
"Oh Riley" She said stroking my back
"I believed he loved me, but now I know I was never good enough for anyone" I said as Michelle hugged me tighter
"You are good enough Riley" She whispered but I wasn't able to believe her, not yet.. Maybe not ever

--

It was the following morning, I stayed at Michelle's last night. I didn't really have anywhere else to go yet. Emily isn't home until the weekend but she knows I am here
Nobody but Michelle truly knows what is going on
After we went to her room to speak last night I hadn't left. I didn't want to face anyone else right now, I could barely keep it together with Michelle let alone everyone else
"Riles, I told the boys I would meet them for lunch, did you want to come?" She asked. I looked up from my phone
I needed to mend as many bridges as I could so I shrugged before returning to my phone

Lucas: Where are you Riley?
Lucas: You think you can leave me? I'm the only person that loves you
Lucas: Stupid Woman!

I took a big inhale before getting up to head out with Michelle
She didn't need to know about the text messages that is for sure. Let's just try and enjoy tonight
I had my luggage in my car so I had chance to change 

"Look who it is" West said hugging me tightly, I smiled a little hugging him, he hasn't changed a little bit
"Glad to have you back in Toronto" Eldon said also hugging me
"Thanks" I quietly replied before my gaze shifted to James' who was looking at me
"Hey" I said with the little confidence I had
"Hey" He replied, I looked down before feeling his arms wrap around me
I hate to admit it but I needed that more then I think he'll ever know. He has the same affect on me as he did all those years ago
"You don't seem okay" He whispered into our hug
"I'll be alright" I lied. He looked at me and I could tell he knew I was lying but I chose to ignore it

"So Riley! Fill us in, what have we missed" West asked as we all sat around eating 
"There isn't anything to fill you in on. Julliard was great, I did a few shows and even had the chance to go to Fashion week" I said with a small smile. Fashion week was something I never thought I would ever get the chance to do. I know Emily and Michelle would have loved it
"Do you remember our Fashion show for the Uniforms?" Michelle chimed and I laughed a little
"Yeah! West was so confident until Zoltan accused him of playing a fool" I laughed
"Hey! I was great thankyou" West said flicking head as if he was flicking his hair
"That show was incredible" Eldon continued
"Yeah, I miss the old days" I said with a smile, I looked over at James who shared the same smile
"back when things were simple" Michelle offered stealing my gaze
"What else did you get up to? You can't tell us you went 3 years without speaking us and didn't do anything but go to College" Eldon teased
"I travelled a little bit, touring with the Dance company for my final year of Julliard" I replied making them all smile
I've missed this, I miss just being able to sit around talking to them all. I feel like I've hurt them more then they are going to tell me. But I hope in time I can heal the wounds I created just like I hope I can heal the wounds I have on my own body