I'm okay (5sos ot4)

Prologue

Keep walking, just keep walking. If I keep walking no one will notice. It's not like I'm important.

I'm average, average eyes, average hair, average height, average muscle, average smarts, average income, average. I'm just average.

I trudge through the street going to my average apartment on an average block.

My anxiety from before is all gone, no one would pay attention to me or chase me, I'm invisible but not completely which makes me average. There's those people you never see but then there's the people you see but care and know nothing about them. I'm the latter.

I am on my way when my neighbor asks me to bring them a pizza "from the place down the block" and she had already paid and ordered it but she's impatient. I walk.

When I enter the pizza place an annoyed zitty teen looks up "We're backed up! Wait over there." He waves his ands towards chairs everywhere.

Another dude starts laughing at him. This guy has red hair, like RED red, like notice-how-punk-rock-I-am red. Except with his eyebrow piercings he does look punk rock.

"We still don't sound right, I mean Ashton's great on the drums same for look and I am great, but we need like a bass player or something." He turns around and looks directly at me "Do you know any bass players?"

"I play the bass" I say politely with a smile. He smiles "Thats so fucking great, just shit, like I can't." He hugs me and starts taking me into a car.

"You gotta play for us like, right fucking now." I have noticed he likes that word, I prefer fudge cakes.

Anyways throughout the car ride he continues spewing profanities. Then we arrive.

"Yayyyyyy" He's a toddler.

He pulls me out of the car and drags me to the door.

A strong toddler.

We go through the doorway and I get shoved into the couch.

"Who's this dude?" A feminine blonde asks.

"This is.." the red head starts to respond.

"My name's Calum and red hair guy wants me to be your bassist" I respond FOR MYSELF.

"Michael did you just pick up a guy off the streets?" Michael nods.

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Luke has been FTM from the beginning and has told us about his anorexia and depression. Then Michael came out as pan. Then they were dating. Then Ashton is found cutting and that he's depressed. Michael says he is too. Then Ashton comes out as genderfluid. Then they are all dating. Ashton figures out anxiety and Michael struggles with depersonalization. Ashton and Luke have PTSD that they never mention, but why should they tell me?

Michael and Ashton stop cutting. Luke goes to the gym and passes as male. I'm still cutting in the corner. Still in the closet about being agender and asexual. Still anorexic. Still just the bassist. Still not worthy of the band.