I'm okay (5sos ot4)

7

He squeezes my hand and looks at me. So does Ash, but he gets up to comfort Luke on the other side of the bed.

"Mikey your words hurt Luke." I mutter.

"I don't want to though" he mutters back.

"I know," I reply "sometimes the people you care about -they're always there for you a-and sometimes there when your angry at someone else," I stutter out "They end up taking the bullet."

Michael stiffens at that, but shifts too put his face into my shoulder and legs draped over my legs.

"The thing is when your words hurt them it's cause your opinion matters to them." I add, rubbing up and down his sides.

"It's just I always mess everything up" he says before a sob racks through his body.

"You don't" I mutter back.

"Everything I care a-about I d-destroy. I-I'm a m-monster."

"You're not" Luke says suddenly, "you're a delicate little kitten who still claws. I'm just one of the stuffed animals you play with."

Michaels sobs and Luke gives him a hug and a kiss to muffle the crying.

I let go of Michael's hand when Michael gets pinned down and decide to leave.

Before I reach the door Ashton does his job of being responsible "It's 8"

I nod in response and continue my quest to my room and enter the hallway.

I'm immediately tackled onto the floor. Arms pinned above my head, a weight of a body on my torso and legs pressed against my sides.

"Now where do you think you're going Calum" my eyes widen as Ashton whispers into my ear huskily.

"Yeah, I thought we were gonna cuddle" Luke pouts from the bed in the corner of my eye.

"Babe I wanna cuddle, and hear Ashy-poo sing more lullabies," followed by Mikey's usual profanity.

"Michael, you know Luke doesn't like it when you cuss." Ashton scolds like the parent they are.

"Well then get Calum to fucking cuddle me." Michael says as he turns so he's on his side facing the wall.

Ashton stands up, then picks me up again plopping me down on the bed next to the wall.

The bed dips and creaks as 2 more bodies get on it.

Once everyone is settled in (it goes wall, me, Michael, Luke then Ashton) I start drifting into the darkness. The pills catching up with me.

Of course I'm by the wall. They may be including me more now but it's only out of kindness. They don't want to catch whatever I am.

Then I fall, into a numb, dreamless sleep.