I'm okay (5sos ot4)

8

I unlock my locker and papers fly out. I pick one up.

'Faggot'

Words and drawings about me on every piece of paper.

Breathing is hard now, the room is spinning, my lunch is coming back for seconds.

"Oh look it's the fag"

"Are you gonna cry again?"

"You already cut, why don't you just kill yourself already, no one would notice."

"Fuck up's gonna kill himself"

"No one gives a damn about you, no one even knows your name."

I'm surrounded, cornered then punched. I don't scream for help or protest, it happens almost every day, besides it's what I deserve.

I do cry though because I'm weak and can't take it.

"Calum? Are you okay?" I'm woken up by a fully dressed Michael (which is surprising).

I nod feeling my wet cheeks.

I don't feel good.

Not physically, but like I feel like giving up and don't even feel like enacting it. I just want this to end.

I feel numb and I should probably take my Meds but I just want to stay here. Not eat, not even unlock my phone or crawl into a ball. Just stare at the floor.

The bed dips. There's noise as if someone's talking but I just stare.

Lukey's POV

Mikey leaves my room and returns to us down the hall.

"Let's wait to ask him, he looks like he's having a bitchy day" Michael states.

"What happened?" Calum's always happy. I've never seen him cry until recently.

I push past Michael and step in my room, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"So Calum, I haven't talked to you by yourself for the longest time." I pause looking down at the lump on my bed that hasn't moved.

"Calum?" My voice wavers.

Mikey and Ash walk in, staring at our lump.

Ashton seems to be on the verge of an attack with clenched fists and shaking while Michael is stiff and stuck staring with ghostly paler-than-usual skin. Ash leans into Michael's ear and a few seconds later Mikey moves.

Back to Calum's POV

The door opens but it just reminds me of my house and sucking in my breath whenever a door opens, afraid that my family will notice me like the kids at school.

I feel like crying, but I'm not worth crying over.

I'm a mistake.

Then all of a sudden my sleeves pulled up.