Fate

chapter 9

"Vera I..I'm sorry okay,but can't you see? I'm desperate.

I said.

" I know Sir, bit you need to understand. She was raped on her first day on the job.
And she was a 'virgin'. "

She stressed on the last word making me wince and bow my head.

"I know,and I wish I could turn back time to undo everything."

"You go upstairs Sir, lunch will soon be ready"

Vera said and I quickly caught her point. The other maids were looking at us. I turned and left for the maid's quarters trying to look for Bessie. I knocked on the door but I got no answer. Maybe she's asleep.
I tried to open the door to see if she was asleep but I was stopped short by the approaching voices and footsteps of maids. I hurriedly left and went upstairs to my to my room. I felt physically and emotionally drained but neither could I take a nap because the incidence if last night still haunted my thoughts. I was becoming restless so I decided to read a book to while away the time.
No one knows that reading is my only source of comfort,since I was a child.

After reading for quite sometime, I heard a knock on my door and I knew instantly that it's my food.
I always love eating in the privacy of my room only when my parents are not home. I responded with a famished "come in",my head still buried in the book.
I waited for the familiar " your food is here,Sir. " but instead,I was met with silence. I lifted up my head and I saw deep brown eyes starting back,Bessie's.
I was surprised, what is she doing here,isn't she supposed to be in bed?
She was standing awkwardly with the tray of food and I kindly told here to set the food down. She did so and bowed and wanted to rush to the door.

"Bessie?" I called. She turned with her head bowed. Is she afraid of me?Why am I asking myself this question, I'm even afraid of me.

"Uh..why aren't you in bed,you and I both know you aren't feeling well."

"I'm fine Sir, I am not sick."

I sighed and pinched the bridge between my nose.

"Did you at least inform Vera?"

"No sir."

"Okay."

"D..do you need anything else Sir?"

She asked with her head still bowed.

"No...I mean yes. Could you stay by my side whiles I eat please?"

Blow! This is serious, why do I blab stupid things without thinking them through first. Looks like my mouth is on it's own now. Cursing under my breath I saw Bessie wide eyes staring at me. Those eyes! Those pure innocent eyes
"please?" I asked again.
She nodded and stood there

"Uhm,I was hoping you'd sit down because you can get tired from standing for long."

She nodded again and she perched herself on the sofa that was far from me. She looked anxious. I didn't want to force her to sit by me. It with make it look that like the way I enjoy torturing her emotionally and physically, so I started to eat my food.
But not without taking quick glances towards her to make sure she feels comfortable.
I didn't feel hungry at all,but I have to get something into my stomach. Taking a glance at her direction again,I saw her sitting motionless and looking lost in thoughts. I also proceeded to eat my food and tried to ignore the choking silence and tension in the room.
.
.
.
Bessie's POV
.
.
.

My legs and hands felt numb as I watched Sir Daniel grunt with each thrust. My voice felt strange in my own ears yet he didn't stop. Beads of sweet covered his face whiles looking at me and I awoke with a start. My heart is pounding and my palms feel clammy from sweat. I just had a nightmare. It felt so real.
My abdomen really felt like it was stabbed with a knife repeatedly. I slowly made my way to the bathroom to wash myself. When I was done, I wore my clothes and rushed or should I say limped to the kitchen.
I can't stay in bed all day when I know I just started working here last night. I was about to enter the kitchen when I saw ma'am Vera enter the kitchen. I can't let her know I am up so I hid until she left again. I entered and began cleaning the kitchen when I noticed they were done cooking. Ma'am Judith entered the kitchen when the other maids were dishing out the food into bowls.
Judith placed a bowl of food on a tray and handed it to me to send it upstairs to sir Daniel. My heart leapt in fear but I couldn't disobey as I took the tray with shaky hands. I headed upstairs, knocked on the door and prayed that he isn't there.
My prayers go unanswered when a male voice answered at the other end.
My knees went weak when I opened and entered because this room happens to be my hell. Sir Daniel sat there in an arm chair reading. I didn't know how to speak because my tongue seemed tied to the roof of my mouth,so I just stared. He turned to look at me and I held my breath.

I had to leave,or I might break down in front of him. I quickly set his food down when he called my name.
He asked of me and and I gave him a answer, keeping my nerves away from my voice. I tried leaving again and asked me to stay.
Is this how he is? Trying to make me stay so that I keep remembering what happened . how can I forget when it happened just last night!  I couldn't disobey because he was my boss so it is a command. I stood there and yet since he wasn't satisfied he asked me to sit.
Again I obeyed and sat down. When I sat down,images of last night's incidence including my dreams started to flash in my eyes, making me feel like it's happened all over again.
I closed my eyes and took deep breath telling myself that's it not happening again.
I kept repeating the mantra to myself in my head that I failed to notice that I was crying or that sir Daniel was done eating or that he was moving towards me,or that he just squatted before me and is raising his hands up towards my face. Wait! Sir Daniel is indeed in front of me with his hands raised. What is he doing here?