august, nct

069

069

jade was never one to acknowledge she was wrong, she was raised that way. does she feel extremely bad and want to mend her friendship with melanie as soon as possible? absolutely. does she want to willingly talk about her feelings with someone that's not herself? absolutely not.

washing her hands, she walked out of yangyang's bathroom and came face to face with hendery. avoiding eye contact right after, she walked away, clearly showing signs of disgust.

"you're overbearingness and controlling tendencies came back and bit you in the ass, huh? you were always a bit too much." hendery said from behind her, walking in the bathroom after her.

she paused in her walk for a second, feeling hatred build up in her. walking into the first room she saw, she looked down at her clenched fists and grimaced. of course, she drew blood.

she sighed, falling back into the wall and sliding down as if she was in a dramatic film. jade constantly thought about how bad of a person she was. it's a problem, how much she craved attention, over analyzing every single thing about the people she cares about, inputting her thoughts where they don't need to be put. it was all so apparent to her, and now that mel see's it too, she has been on edge constantly.

the closet door opened, jade quickly hiding her face with her hair to give the redness time to go away. wiping her bloody hands on her black jeans, she tried to be invisible.

"are you okay?" the all too familiar voice asked, jade mentally cursed herself while nodding. "you seem fucked up."

"thanks?" she replied, standing up and heading straight for the door. jaemin quickly ran in front of it, the two making eye contact.

the girl immediately gave up and walked away, letting jaemin laugh at his victory before following behind her, "you're like.. red."

"no shit!" she hissed at him, sitting at the chair in front of the desk, that jaemin leaned on after. "why arr you following me like a shadow."

"cause you're obviously upset and i'm not an asshole. you clearly don't wanna talk about it b—"

"exactly. so leave me alone."

jaemin looked up at her once again, she was still avoiding eye contact. only now, it seemed more like she was putting all her focus on trying not to cry.

he was a very brave man, so he did something he usually would never do. opening his arms, he gave jade a real hug, a comforting one.

it was long, and it was warm, and it was just enough to break her focus. jade began to sob into his arms, and hated herself for doing so. it was embarrassing, and to her, it was the lowest form of weakness.

she got up from the chair, but jaemin still hugged her as she cried. he held her the entire time, the entire nine minutes of vulnerability she let him see.

finally quieting down, the two parted and she still couldn't bring herself to look into his eyes. "i'm a coward."

"why are you a coward?"

"why can't i just be happy for melanie and her feelings... like why do i hate sungchan so much? if she loves him i should let it happen. im so overprotective over her and it's so so so stupid. i want the best for her but i don't want to drive her away." jade cried, unsure how to even put her thoughts into words.