I Want You So Much (But I Hate Your Guts)

Chapter 15

There was a letter waiting for Louis a few days after that fateful Monday. It was printed on heavy paper and had the university's emblem all over it, and Louis didn't need to be a genius to guess what the content would be about. Instead of opening it, though, Louis stuffed the letter between two of the books currently residing on his desk, not to be seen, and proceeded to watch Full House on Netflix. He knew whatever the insides of that envelope would say would have a huge impact on his future and therefore his whole life. And admittedly, he wasn't strong or composed enough to go through such news all on his own.

He periodically checked his watch, impatiently awaiting Harry's return, barely able to concentrate on DJ's high school troubles. If only his problems were as simple as wearing an unfortunate outfit to the first day of classes. He knew Harry would stop by after his dinner meet-up with his Alpha roommates. The both of them had spent most of their time together in Louis' dorm this past week, even though Harry's was much bigger and would be a more comfortable space for two. But there was something about Louis' humble room after they'd spent his heat together in there and without ever having to talk about it, it had become their most favoured place to be.

Harry had stored some of his stuff in one of Louis' drawers, a toothbrush and some toiletries always handy. They weren't living together, by no means, that would take their whole relationship one step too far, far too soon. But Harry liked to spent every other night here, and even if he didn't stay, he at least liked to spend a few hours with Louis after training or in between classes. Louis wasn't complaining.

They had finally managed to have something resembling a relationship-talk. But once they had sat down and decided to talk about it, it became glaringly obvious that there wasn't actually anything to talk about. It was surprisingly simple. Louis had developed the deepest of feelings for Harry, and Harry returned them, as passionately and whole-heartedly. They hadn't said those three, oh-so-important-and-meaningful words yet, but Louis was certain that if the both of them were put on the spot, they would declare their "I love you"'s without much fuss. Easy as that.

It had all been rather obvious from the moment that Louis had called Harry his Alpha. Those were words not uttered lightly, never had been in the grand scheme of things and the history of the world. Louis didn't think he'd ever say them to anyone, if he was perfectly honest. Not only was there the problem with accepting himself as he was, Omega status and all, because to claim someone as the Alpha to your Omega meant to be sure and secure in your own gender role, didn't it? He had also been fiercely certain that he would never fall in love with anything but football. Things had changed now, evidently, and no matter that he was half lost in heat when he spoke to Harry that day, those words were said with nothing but sincerity.

And Harry had reacted to them, had received Louis' offering, so to speak, and acted as he himself and his inner Alpha felt it was right and true. All in all, it had lead to the both of them spending Louis' heat together and Louis was certain that Harry didn't regret a minute of the time and space they've shared since then — and neither did he himself.

So here they were now. Louis, stuck in the most complicated and troublesome situation that he would encounter in his life, most likely, and Harry a constant by his side. An Alpha was someone that Louis had never wanted or desired or believed he needed, but now he realised that being connected with someone on this level, so intimately in every way, was not only a relief in all sorts of way, but a consistent system of support and love that he could have never dreamed of, but now didn't want to miss for a minute.

Maybe he should have been aware of this all along — and he might have been hadn't he so desperately tried to destroy everything Omega about himself — but being an Omega and bonding to an Alpha didn't make him weaker or meeker, didn't leave him at the mercy of a more powerful human being. No, on the contrary, if anything he was stronger, more resilient, unspeakably cosy and oh-so-happy.