"We fought an uphill battle. One we had no hope of winning."
~~~
Felicity-Flick as most call her-Carter, has learned a thing or two in her 12 years of life. How to deal with drunk parents without waking the neighbors, how to smoke a cigarette withou...
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"How'd you know I was here?"
I asked when I heard the creaking of the ladder behind me. I didn't have to turn around to know who it was. Jackson sighed as he pulled himself all the way up, his feet kicking rocks as they planted down on the concrete of the rooftop. I didn't know how long I'd been up here. An hour, maybe. Longer, perhaps. The world moved fast around me. I felt like a statue, bolted to the floor of a place I didn't belong in for strangers to gawk at me while I stood there and watched the world whizz by.
"Call it a hunch." Jackson muttered as he sat down beside me. Our feet dangled over the edge of the building. The side walk seemed closer than it ever had before. A distorted vision of the world, I suppose. I seemed to have a lot of those.
"A hunch huh?" I hummed absently. December air whipped across my face. I barely even felt it.
Jackson shivered beside me. "Are you not cold?" He asked, pressing a tentative hand to my bare arm. I shook my head. He frowned and shrugged his leather jacket off his shoulders and put it over mine. He'd gotten the jacket for his birthday last year. Nick had given it to him. He was so excited about it. Said he would never take it off. But for me he would. For me he always did. "But yeah, a hunch," He muttered back, rubbing his hands up and down his now exposed skin. "Flick, what happened? This morning I mean."
I shrugged, not even bothering to try and find words to explain. I had hit the wall in full force, my spirit and will cracking on impact. The twig had snapped. The whole had filled. The heart had shattered. My body was numb. And this time, I wasn't sure if I liked it or not.
"You don't know, or you won't tell me?" Jackson sighed, nudging my shoulder with his elbow to get a response out of me.
"Does it matter?" I asked slowly.
"Flick, would you please stop playing games with me?" Jackson turned his head towards me, with what I could only assume was as sharp a glare as his tone implied. I didn't react. I barely even notice. "What is going on? Why are you acting weird? What was wrong with you last night?"
I shifted away from him a bit, the volume of his voice making my head sting. He took a deep breath and shook his head, like he was trying to compose himself. I felt like a child again. An irritating, unreasonable, over exhausted child. I wanted more than anything for this all to be over. Or better yet, for this all to never have happened.
I wanted to go back to the way things were. I wanted to go back to late night drives with Amber and Clay, go back to skipping school with Jacks so we could try to climb to the top of Wallys. That's what I wanted. I wanted my life back. I didn't want this new, unprecedented future that was all this sudden staring me in the face. I felt sick all over again thinking about it.
"Flick," Jackson put a gentle hand on my shoulder. I took a deep breath but didn't look at him. "Flick, please talk to me. Please, I'm really worried about you."
