Alan Rickman Himself

This is Abuse

Coming home from your boyfriend's house that night you were sporting a nice new bruise on the back of your neck where your boyfriend had grabbed you during an argument. You walked into the apartment you shared with your best friend Alan and Ruby. Your hoodie was up when you walked past them in the kitchen, trying to get to your room without being noticed. Alan saw your strange behavior and knew immediately what you were hiding based on where you had been and how you walked into the apartment.

“Stop, back up.”  He didn’t even look up from his book. “Take off the hood.”  He closed his book to look at you.

“Alan, I'm fine.”  

“Y/N, do it.”  Ruby demanded. You sighed and pulled your hood down. When Alan saw the bruise on your neck he stood up so fast his chair fell backwards.  

“And let me guess, it was an accident. He didn’t mean to hurt you, it was your own fault.”  Alan ran through every excuse you would give.  

“Alan, it's not that big a deal.”  

“Yes it is! He’s hurting you Y/N why is it so hard for you to understand that he doesn’t love you!”  Alan shouted in a fit of anger.  You glared at him as you walked off to your room slamming the door.

“Nice Alan, very helpful.”  Ruby scolded.

“I can’t help it, this has gone on long enough. He’s hurting her, how long are we supposed to sit back and watch before we do something about it?” 

“I don’t know Alan, but I’m pretty sure yelling at her isn’t the answer.”  

“If we do nothing he is going to end up killing her! And she dies. I feel like that’s on me, on us. Because we knew and didn’t do anything. Well I can’t stand by anymore and do nothing.”  Alan argued. He left the kitchen and went to your room.  He didn’t even knock, why would he? You’ve seen each other naked many, many times.  

“I didn’t mean to yell.” He said lowly.  

“You’re acting out because you're jealous.”  You mumbled while taking off your shoes. 

“I am not jealous, maybe in the beginning of your relationship with Tom I was but now it's not jealous as much as it is worrying.”  He defended.

“Alan, you've hated him since the moment you met him. We both know you weren’t ready for me to break up with you but you need to let it go.” You rolled your eyes at him.  

“Our break up has nothing to do with it. He’s hurting you Y/N. Look at these bruises, you can’t tell me that it doesn’t bother you how he treats you.  I don’t know what he’s doing, or saying to make you stay but I promise you will be so much better off if you leave him.  How far does he have to go before you’ve had enough?  He’s going to end up killing you Y/N, please. Yes I still love you but right now I’m not talking to you as a lover I’m talking to you as your best friend. You need to leave this relationship.”  He pleaded with you.  

“Alan I lov-”

“But he doesn’t love you. Y/N I love you and I would never lay an unloving hand on you.  You know what love is supposed to look like, feel like, sound like. I showed you and I know I did a good job loving you even if you don’t love me back… But this, this isn’t love Y/N, this is abuse. Please don’t let him continue to do this to you. Look I know you don’t love me anymore but I know you still care about me. So if you won’t do it for yourself, do it for me. I love you and I’m worried about you.” 

“I do, love you Alan. I want to leave him but I know if I try things will just get worse.  That’s what our fight was about tonight. I realized that I never stopped loving you, I broke up with you because I was scared.”  You confessed, resting your elbows on your knees. 

“Why would you ever be scared of me?”  He kneeled in front of you.  

“It’s not you I’m scared of, it’s us. We were doing so well, we were both just so in love… It didn’t feel right. I don’t know how to explain it. It just felt too good to be true, and the longer and the better things got the worse they would end up.  You are the one, but I scared myself into believing that I would still get hurt… So I broke your heart before you broke mine. I know it doesn’t make any sense.”  You cried.  “But I just felt like if I didn’t end things I’d get hurt and I couldn’t handle getting hurt by you.” You wiped your eyes.  

“Y/N, I had no intention of ending things, that was the last thing I wanted to do. I respected your decision to end things because I thought you weren’t happy with me.”  He took your hands away from your face.  “I love you, I will always love you.”

“I love you too, I never stopped loving you.” There was a moment of silence as you both thought of what to say next.

“I tried to leave tonight.” You broke the silence.  “I told him that I was in love with someone else, it was going okay until he found out the person I was in love with was you. He accused me of cheating on him. He said that I was here fucking you and that’s why I wouldn’t have sex with him.”  You rested your head on Alan's shoulder and he laid his head on top of yours. 

“You don’t have to prove anything to him. Y/N, you cannot go back there alone. Next time you go over you need to have someone with you and you need to end things. Grab whatever you have there and bring it home.”  He stroked your hair. 

“I can’t, if he has no problem hurting me then I know he doesn’t have an issue hurting you.  Who knows what he’ll do to you. I can’t risk that.” You argued, lifting your head from his shoulder.

“He can try to hurt me all he wants but he won’t succeed. I’m a lot smarter than him. But if you stay he will continue to hurt you.”

“I don’t care if he hurts me as long as he doesn’t touch you!” 

“What if we filed a restraining order? You have the evidence, you're covered in bruises, if we get a restraining order against him then we’ll have nothing to worry about. Yes there’s always a chance he could violate it but he wouldn’t have time to do anything before the police got there. We can go tomorrow to get your things and if he seems violent we’ll go forward with the restraining order.” He cupped your face. “Y/N, if you still don’t want to be with me I will respect that, I just want you to be safe, happy, loved.  And even though I don’t think anyone could ever love you as much as I do.”  Your lips crashing onto his stopped his mouth from doing anything but kissing you.  

“Come with me tomorrow to get my stuff and we can go from there. But I want to be with you Alan, forever, always. You have been the love of my life for as long as I can remember, we’re in this mess because I was stupid enough to let myself believe that you would hurt me. I’m sorry Alan.”  You held his face in your hands. He saw the tears in the corners of your eyes.  

“I forgive you. Lay back, let me put some Aloe on your neck.”  He pulled the covers down and let you get in.  Then he took a bottle of Aloe from your medicine cabinet and came back to your bed and rubbed it on your neck.  “Feel better?” 

“Yeah… Will you stay with me?”  

“Always.”