Your Ivy Grows

Chapter 24

I wish I could get away with hiding out in the living until Barnes finishes his food and leaves, but I know he won't do that. If I don't go back in there and face him, he'll come find me. He says he wants to talk, and he's stubborn enough to not leave until he does. But that doesn't mean I don't give myself a few minutes outside the door to prepare for whatever he's going to throw at me. Taking one last calming breath in and out, I finally walk back into the dining room.

He hasn't moved from where I left him; his eyes follow me as I walk in. There's no change to his expression, no hint of what kind of conversation we're about to have. He just studies me quietly as I take a seat in John's place, the one furthest from him. I need that physical distance between us if I'm going to make it out of this in one piece. My food is left half-eaten in my spot but my stomach is in knots right now; I couldn't eat if I tried. Rather than reaching for food, I grab the bottle of wine off the table and pour myself a glass. Some liquid courage can't hurt, right?

Barnes watches my every movement but says nothing. Is this a tactic he's using in order to throw me off? If so, it's working. I've never felt more unsettled than I do in this room with him. I take a large sip of my wine. It's more of a giant gulp, if I'm honest. It feels like I'm balancing on the edge of a steep cliff and one wrong move would send me hurtling off it. This connection between us has become too much for me to handle. I've tried to put out the flames of whatever the fuck this is, but it feels like we are one tiny spark away from turning into an out of control, blazing inferno.

I'm terrified to hear what he has to say tonight. His words have the potential to gut me for so many reasons. I've somehow allowed him enough space in my head to have the power to hurt me. And I'm a fool for doing it because I've known from the beginning what this is. The quicker this ends, the better for me. I want to let him speak first but the silence has stretched on for too long and I cave to the voice in my head demanding I put an end to the quiet.

"What are you doing here, Barnes?"

"What does it look like I'm doing, princess? I'm having dinner." He gestures down at his plate before bringing a forkful of food to his mouth. I watch him as he chews and swallows before looking back up at me. "It's delicious by the way."

Only he could take a harmless compliment about my cooking and somehow make it sound dirty. It's the way he draws out the word delicious, like he's rolling it around in his mouth, and then his gaze drifts down to linger on my lips. His tongue comes out to wet his bottom lip before he grabs for his wineglass.

"Thank you." I say, as my throat seems to dry up. I reach for my glass right along with him, taking another long sip of wine.

Most of the time, he's impossible to read. I can never figure out what he's thinking. But in this moment, he's never been more transparent. That look he's giving me, the heat in his eyes, it is unmistakable for anything than what it is. This man wants me. He wants me and I should hate how much that gets my pulse racing. I shouldn't want him to give in to it, but I do. His hand is gripping his wineglass so tightly that I'm surprised it hasn't shattered. He's restraining himself and there's a too big part of me that wants his control to snap.

"You know that's not what I meant." I pause before asking him again. "Why are you here?"

"I needed to see you." He shrugs before bringing another bite of food to his mouth.

"Why?" I can't stop myself from asking. He's a fucking puzzle I can't piece together, no matter how hard I try. Does he just like torturing me? Did he just want to force me to spend the night worrying about what he'd reveal to John? Did he come tonight so he could fuck with my head more than he already has?