you raise me up || harry potter

chapter 64

»»————-　song:　————-««

achilles come down

★ gang of youths ★

❝  remember your virtue,
redemption lies plainly in truth...

achilles, come down
won't you get up off

get up off the roof? ❞

♢ ♢ ♢

(tw, mentions of suicide)

The momentuous occasion was ruined somewhat slightly by having to utter the words "Skiving Snackboxes" in front of Dumbledore's office, but Snape wasted no time the second he got inside. He strode to Dumbledore's desk and placed his palms down forcefully. The portraits behind him tittered in alarm.

"Harry can't go back to the Dursley's, Albus," he said.

Dumbledore smiled. "Ah, Severus," he said genially. "Lemon drop?"

Already Snape felt the dangerous magma of frustration well within him. How dare he offer Snape a sweet, a consolation treat?

He did not deign to respond. "I know I've broached this topic before. But I was too much of a coward to properly say it. I will not allow you to send Harry back to that house."

The twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes diminished somewhat. "His home, Severus," he reminded him, but gently. "He must think of Number 4 Privet Drive as his home. I hope you haven't encouraged him to think otherwise."

Snape felt as if his skin might crack open and bleed lava, that his throat might open and what would come spewing out would be only bitter, liquid hate. But he swallowed it down, only just, and said instead, softly, "Why does everyone around him insist on not treating him as the child he is?"

Now all the smile left Dumbledore's face. He sighed heavily. "Do you think I haven't paid a price for this, Severus?" he asked, and Snape knew he had angered him. "Do you think I sleep peacefully at night, knowing what a life I've condemned him to? I wish I could have kept him innocent, and free and happy. But we cannot afford that."

"You'd think," Snape said quietly, "That after Tom, you wouldn't make the same mistake."

Dumbledore's face hardened for a fraction of a second, like ice forming and melting impossibly quick. "Harry is not Tom, and you know that," he said.

"I do," Snape said, "I do now. But when you carried that baby in your arms and sealed his fate when you placed him on the porch, did you know? Did you know anything about what kind of a person that baby would grow up to be?"

"Calculated risks, Severus."

"He was—and is—a child." The magma once again bubbled beneath the surface.

"And Voldemort wishes to kill him."

"I know as well as you that your concern for his safety was not the reason you put him with those monsters," Snape said, his expression cut from stone. 

Dumbledore's eyes almost narrowed. He never narrowed his eyes, ever, but he came close this time. "What are you saying, Severus?" he said, a quiet challenge in his voice.

"The most powerful wizard of our time cannot Conjure wards strong enough to rival blood wards? Do not take me for a fool, Albus. If you put him with people who would abuse him, there would be one of two outcomes."