45" ▪︎ a.i.

22"

"I'm gonna go shower real quick, and then we can celebrate the start of the tour, alright?", Ash asked, as soon as we arrived at his home. 

"Yeah sure, I'll wait down here.", I replied, quickly kissing him, before he ran off to the bathroom. I set my camera bag down in the hallway, taking off my jacket and shoes, walking into the kitchen and getting something to drink for us, before walking back into the living room. I sat down on the couch, debating to pick up the acoustic guitar leaning against the table, but deciding against it, opening Twitter instead. My timeline was filled with Tweets about the show, mostly excitement to have the boys back, to get stage content and see them doing what they love most. There were some Tweets about me, stating how they saw me photograph the show together with Ryan. Some even said how beautiful they thought I am. But my eyes flickered down to the ones calling me a liar, imposter even, taking advantage of the boys, their money, and their fame. 

I don't get how people can sit behind their screens, thinking it is okay to call people they don't even know things like that. I have never once considered tweeting something like this while I was on stan twitter. It just didn't occur to me to think it, let alone write and tweet it. I wonder if those people would have the guts to say these things to my face. But I guess these days people were relentless. I didn't hear Ashton coming back from his shower until he kneeled down in front of me and took the phone out of my hands. 

"You were reading what the fans are saying again, weren't you?", he whispered, and I nodded, not seeing the point in lying to him out of all people. 

"You've got to stop doing that at one point. It won't get you very far, especially with the tour continuing to put you in the spotlight. People are always going to talk. You can prove time and time again that you are talented, and we've hired you because of that, and they'll still find something to criticize, trust me, I've been there.", he replied, sitting down next to me, and pulling me down so my head is in his lap, while his fingers comb through my hair, calming me down immediately. I knew he was right. I've been on the other end for years, and I've seen what some fans have done to the boys and their mental health, especially in the beginning of their careers. I should know better than to dismiss his advice, thinking it wouldn't hurt me to read those things. But I didn't want to leave social media behind all together, I didn't want to give them this satisfaction.

I sat back up and cuddled into his side, turning my head upwards until he kissed me, and I smiled while realizing that this made it all worth the worry and the pain. 

"You were still amazing tonight. You want to look through the pictures? I have to sort through them anyway.", I asked after we pulled away, and he nodded, smiling. I know he was happy to see me smiling again, and even though we both knew something like this was bound to happen again, we could as well enjoy this evening.

I settled beside him with my laptop and clicked through the pictures from this night's concert. I did try to shoot all of them equally, but I always end up with more pictures from Ashton anyway. It's like my consciousness just took over. But I knew there were lots of people who would enjoy these close-ups, as Ashton usually was the one with the least pictures.

We spent the rest of the evening looking through the pictures, joking about Ashton's drumming faces, until we eventually went to bed, knowing tomorrow would be exhausting. Despite going to bed so late and being exhausted, I still woke up around 8am, deciding to get up, and enjoy the perks of having a piano in the house. I did hope I wouldn't wake Ashton up, but it didn't the last time, so it should be fine today as well. I made myself some coffee and sat down in front of the piano, letting my fingers slide over the keys. I pulled out the sheets for Luke's songs, having gotten the originals from him. I knew it would take ages to master those, but I was determined, and he could help me when I got stuck. I played around for a bit, trying out the chord transitions, not noticing how the time flew by until Ashton coughed to draw my attention to him. 

"It's almost 10.30am, we should eat breakfast and get going even though I really didn't want to disturb you.", he says, and walks over to me, playing a short melody with his right hand, while placing his left on my shoulder, kissing the top of my head shortly. 

"I didn't notice that it's already been two hours.", I replied, while he still played a random melody. 

"What's this? New song?", I added, which made him stop. 

"I've had it stuck in my head for days, maybe I'll ask Luke if he can do something with it.", he said, and we walked back into the kitchen, where he had already prepared breakfast. 

"You definitely should, sounded like a sad love song or something, fans love those.", I replied jokingly, and he rolled his eyes while sipping on his coffee. 

"Yeah, well I don't get why and I won't be writing the lyrics to that one then. I can do lots of things, but I can't write sad love songs, while I'm in l-..a happy relationship. Luke can do that, he's got his old ones to take from.", he replied, and I noticed his slip up, deciding to let it slide this time.

We arrived at the venue with our suitcases around noon, getting everything packed and settled into the tour buses. Ashton showed me the bunk beds, the back of the bus, the small kitchen and the living room part that had a couch, tv and lots of blankets and pillows. When we were about to go outside again, Michael and Calum walked onto the bus, greeting us excitedly. Shortly later Luke joined in as well and I knew we were bound to get on each other's nerves.