45" ▪︎ a.i.

29"

When I opened the door, the boys' heads turned towards us, FIFA quickly being forgotten. Luke smiled comfortingly, and I realized they probably all knew why I ran out, suddenly feeling embarrassed for my reaction. I looked at the ground, finding my shoes way more interesting, and without giving them a second glance I left to the back of the bus. I wasn't in the mood for pity or conversations about these Tweets. I sat down on the bench and looked out of the window as we finally started our way to Sacramento. I heard them talking but I really didn't feel like joining them, no matter what topic. The door to the small, separated area opened and closed again, before someone sat down across from me, mirroring my position. He didn't say anything, just joined me in looking out of the window at the passing trees. It started to rain, droplets splashing against the window, soon making me unable to see anything clearly. I felt his hand on mine and looked up into his crystal blue eyes. 

"It's okay to freak out over things like this, you know. We've all been there at one point.", Luke said quietly, and I adverted my gaze from him, going back to watching the rain flow down the window. 

"No one expects you to just be still and accept every mean thing a fan says or does. But you have to talk to us about it. We've been doing this for years, we know how hard this can be and what could help.", he continues, and I just lean my head on the cold window, listening to his voice, letting myself calm down finally. Eventually he left but instead Ashton walked in, and sat down beside me, so our bodies were touching slightly. I turned to look at him, and he had a small smile on his lips, opening his arms, an invitation I gladly accepted. We scooted back on the couch so I could sit in between his legs, lay my head on his chest, while he wrapped his arms around me. 

"They'll come around, you know? They always take some time to warm up to new girlfriends.", he reassures, and I nod, just wanting to drop the topic finally. He got the hint, and starts tracing small figures on my arms, calming me down even more until I eventually feel my eyes get heavy. "Go to sleep Haze.", he whispers, and I give in and close my eyes.

The next morning, I wake up in my bunk bed and a new city. Tour life is weird. But we made it to Sacramento, which means we're already halfway through the tour. I get up and walk over to the kitchen, making myself some coffee and looking out of the window at the new city we've arrived to overnight. It still felt weird, thinking about the events of yesterday, but then again, Luke and Ashton kind of made me feel better about it, even though I know that feeling would be gone as soon as I take one look at Twitter, so I'm avoiding that as long as possible.

Soon the boys piled into the kitchen, one after another making themselves some coffee and joining me on the couch. We talked like we normally would, no one mentioning the fans or yesterday at all. Luke complained about his guitar strings never staying in tune, Michael suggested to try out new ones even though it's probably just gonna take some time, and Calum worried about Sav not texting him back until I reminded him that she probably has uni work to do and has been studying. I was worried about the soundcheck and meeting the fans, but I'm probably gonna stay backstage and send Ryan out to the front. I know I can't hide forever but there weren't too many shows left, so maybe if I just reduced it to a minimum.... 

My phone started ringing and I was surprised to see my uncle's name pop up. I stood up, showing the screen to Ash, before leaving to the back of the bus while accepting the call. After almost 20 minutes I ended the call, both, feeling happy and sad at the same time. I walked back to the front of the bus and all of them looked at me questioning. 

"I have to leave tour soon.", I said, and sat down beside Ashton on the couch. Immediately all of their shouts mixed together, bringing a small smile to my face. 

"I still have a few concerts, but my uncle needs me back at the store. It's finally picking up again, getting more customers.", I explained, directing the last sentence to Ashton, who squeezed my hand reassuringly to show me that he was happy about it even though it meant I had to leave. Though there were still frowns on their faces, I knew they understood. I was sad to leave, but it would only be two concerts that I'd miss, so it really wasn't that big of a deal. I cuddled into Ashton's side, and we spent the rest of the morning on the bus, watching movies, goofing around until it was time for soundcheck.

I'm not gonna lie, those last few days passed way too quickly and before I knew it, the boys came running backstage after their show in Las Vegas. I had a flight booked for the night, so I could start off at the store tomorrow morning. They quickly got changed and we all piled into a car to get me to the airport. They agreed to all come along, hoping to not create too much attention because of the time, say goodbye, and then leave to some party at a club they had been to a few times already. I wasn't too sad that I'd miss that. Clubs really weren't my thing and I'm happy Ashton would be distracted as he had told me that he'd just miss me the next days and looked forward to coming back home already. I wanted him to enjoy the rest of the tour.

We arrived at the airport with an hour to spare and luckily didn't see too many people in the waiting areas. They all hugged me goodbye, wishing me a safe flight before leaving Ash and I alone, telling him, they'd wait at the car. Ash opened his arms wide, and I wrapped mine around his torso, already missing his warm embrace and the feeling of comfort he radiates. 

"I'm gonna miss you.", I mumbled into his chest, and he pressed a kiss on my hair, squeezing a bit tighter as if to say that he'd miss me too. 

"I'll be home right after the last show, you have the spare key, wait at mine, will you?", he replied, and I nodded, already looking forward to hearing the door opening that night, wishing it would just come sooner. I never thought I would become the type of girl to be so dependent on a boy. But here I was, crying over being apart for two days. Ashton just had something special that makes you crave more, even if it's just a simple text or a small smile. 

"Haze, you have to go.", he urged quietly, and I nodded, knowing he was right. 

"We'll see each other soon.", he adds, and I nod again, seeing right through his optimistic behavior anyway. He brought his hand up to my face, gently wiping away with his thumb what I know had to be a tear I hadn't realized falling from my eyes. He leaned down and I met him halfway, savoring the taste of his lips on mine for as long as possible until he pulled away and handed my bag to me. 

"I'll text you. Have a safe flight Haze and text me when you land.", he says, eventually leaving after I had promised to text him. I watched him walk out the door, turning around once and waving when he saw me still standing there. I sighed, turned around and walked towards security.

The flight went by rather quickly and when I arrived in LA I quickly texted Ashton that I had landed before I got my luggage and left the airport. He replied almost instantly, saying he was glad and telling me that they were still at the club. I replied that I'm almost home and he shouldn't be on his phone but spend time with the boys to which I got an emoji sticking his tongue out back. I chuckled but didn't reply, as I knew he would just keep responding if I didn't stop.

I arrived at my apartment and didn't even unpack anymore because I was just too tired. I changed into something more comfortable and fell into bed, not knowing that the next day would be way more exhausting than I could have expected.