Fragile

Chapter 36

It was a week after I left the hospital I decided to see Seth.

Noah had insisted I didn't need to see Seth, that I owed him nothing. He was right; I didn't owe Seth anything. Even so, I couldn't help but feel like everything was still unfinished. The kidnapping, the women, everything. Yes, I knew the entire time he was a monster; yes I was kidnapped by him and almost raped. Yes, I knew all of these things. Maybe it was because I considered him a friend... maybe not a friend. Something like a perfect stranger, who I happened to confide in when I was most vulnerable. Even though I knew it was all a lie, something in me said I needed to see him one last time, or I would never stop feeling conflicted about the relationship we had. 

Noah wanted to at least go with me, of course. I refused. I needed to do this on my own; I needed to do something on my own, for once. We compromised and agreed Noah could drive me and wait in the car. Though my resolve was firm when I told Noah, it was quickly deteriorating as we drove closer to the prison Seth was being held in until his trial. 

It was apparent Noah was a basket case. His knuckles were white as he drove as slow as possible, gnawing at his lip as he continuously tried to come up with ways he could go in with me. "I could just be down the hall," he tried again. "Or just outside the door. The waiting room, even." 

I didn't blame him. Even with Seth behind plexiglass, it was still nerve wracking. "There will be officers on both sides," I tried to coax, more myself than him. "I need to do this on my own." 

"I won't interrupt, you can still be on your own," he said. "I just want to be able to see you're safe." 

"He won't talk if you're there," I said. "If he sees you, the both of you will just jab at each other." 

"I can make sure he doesn't see me." 

Noah pulled into the parking lot, driving slower even than the walking officers. If I didn't sense the radiating anxiety from him, I would have been irritated, maybe even laughed. Instead, I gently rested a hand on his shoulder. 

"We're starting over, remember?" I tried to give him a reassuring smile. "I need you to trust me. We aren't kids anymore." 

"Our age doesn't mean anything to that bastard," he spat out the slur as if it truly was Seth he could somehow spit on. His gaze softened when he looked at me. "I just got you back." 

"I'm not going anywhere," I insisted. I leaned forward and pecked his lips. He looked physically pained. "Just let me end this so we can move on, okay?" 

He reluctantly gave a small nod. I gave him another peck before hopping out of his car and making my way to the entrance. 

Needless to say, my strong facade died the second I left that car. My rationalization that police would be there suddenly was nowhere to be found. I could feel sweat accumulating on the back of my neck and my breaths were more shallow as I tried to stay focused and push open the door. 

I was surprised to see Charles greet me at the front desk. "Here for Seth?" 

"Charles?" I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion. "Why are you here?" 

"Ah, Noah hasn't told you? After the closure of the trafficking case, both of us were offered jobs at the department," he said with bright eyes. 

"Oh." No, he didn't say anything. Was he already keeping secrets from me? Why did he keep something like a job offer- 

"Woah, easy there," Charles snapped his fingers in front of me. "Don't be jumping to any conclusions, Fay. I'm sure he plans on telling you, don't shoot the messenger."