Bug Bites

Chapter | Twenty-Five

Coming back to the apartment was a feeling Marinette wished she could have enjoyed more. That night, she hadn't stayed in the tower with the others very long, but she did return back to the Parker residence. There was a part of her that was relieved to be home, because she did miss Peter and May. She missed Chloe and Adrien, she missed those she held dear. Yet this sense of reality, it didn't feel the same- not when she knew that Lucas was still at large. It had also been a good thing she went with Peter and fell asleep in his arms while the movie he picked played in the background. 

As much as Peter had wanted to ask more of what happened, he didn't push her to tell. She would do so at her own time like May said because there might be something she wasn't ready to say. He was just happy to have her home, where he could see her and she was in reach. It was a reassurance that she wasn't out there in the world somewhere they weren't sure where. Yet at two in the morning, Peter was woken up by the thrashing of Marinette as she tossed and turned in her sleep, muttering under her breath. 

He understood now she was also plagued with nightmares, because he spent the rest of the night laying in bed watching as Marinette sat by his window and looked out in deep thought bathing in the moonlight. Peter remembered her eyes the day they met, how overwhelmed those blue eyes were in a new city with new people in a different country. How warm and welcoming they had been then compared to the guarded look she had now. 

"If you want to ever talk about anything, I'm here for you." Peter says softly, sitting up in his bed. "I will probably never understand what you went through, but I'm here for you. I always have been and will be, Mari."

She sat there for fifteen minutes saying nothing, and he let her because he knew her. Peter understood Marinette for all she was. She was a leader of a superhero team, it was why she beckoned heads to turn stepping into a room. It was a natural thing for her, but so was keeping everything in until she was ready to speak. Sometimes though, the silence was all she needed without an opinion- just given an option. 

Unknown to him, his words hit Marinette deep. It brought her mind out of the haze it was in, anchored her back to reality that she was home. She wasn't running or fighting, she was safe and warm and loved. She just wished it was enough to ease the ache that was still in her chest, the memories were still fresh. Even after the past few weeks, she remembered the actions that were hers but not of her will. The time before she spent in that room bleeding, and the truth of her parents. The fear of Lucas coming to find her team or Peter, and because of their affiliation to her through Peter- Ned and MJ.

 "He threatened you and May." She admits gently, her eyes never looking away from the window. "It was enough to get me to comply to not run, because I was scared he would kill you like my parents. That if I ran from there then what was going to stop him from finding Chloe or Adrien, or anyone from my team? Then his henchmen came in, and I thought I knew pain from akuma attacks. I knew emotional pain, but didn't know true physical pain until then. The baton, the whip.."

Peter watched as Marinette moved to touch her arms without realizing she was doing it. 

"I remember vividly how they felt against my skin... I thought I was going to die there." Marinette brought her knees up to her chest. "I was ready too, because in that moment I felt like there was no escape. Tikki saved me, but at the cost of herself. Then I was trapped in my own head, zapped into commission. The pain of that damn chip, it was live wire in my veins. I hurt people, killed people. I don't belong here Peter. I don't have a place in this world anymore. Not in Paris, not in New York..."

For the first time she got out of bed, Marinette looked at him and he saw the tears. Not even thinking about his next action, he got out of bed and wrapped her up in his arms. This was where she completely broke down. For what exactly, he didn't know. Maybe it was for her parents, or for Tikki. Maybe it was the pain of remembering, of doing things she didn't want to do. Yet he understood now that she felt displaced, like she had no where she truly belonged.