Bug Bites

Chapter| Thirty-Four

Stepping back into Paris...it was nostalgic for Marinette. There were multiple emotions traveling at light speed through her being in waves that crashed like a tsunami. Joy, grief, love, hate, and fear- it all went through her as she looked around the streets she grew up in. This city, they would never know her for her, nor would they know her team. The sacrifices they made, what they truly lost.

Master Fu had been selfish, it was the only conclusion Marinette could come to in the end over the years. She had to cope, to understand why things happened the way they did. Learned that you could be mad at loved ones, mad at yourself and at the world, but there was a point that you couldn't let it consume you. Master Fu had robbed not only her, but the others of their innocence- their childhoods.

The years that should have been about living life without a care, those were the most stressful years of her life. He pushed her into a position she hadn't been ready for not once, but twice. Even now she didn't truly understand what being Guardian held. She kept the kwami's safe, knew they needed to be hidden and holders kept safe. Yet, what more was there to it?

A lot had changed in five years. Something in Marinette had changed over the years, it kept her from seeking the normalcy of a civilian life. Even as she found a new purpose, new people to love and anchor herself too- she never craved the life she once had here in Paris. Peter Parker had truly changed her world, he was her love. The love she felt for him..it was once in a life time. To feel that grounded, at ease despite how tense she'd been for years. She knew she'd never find it again. She missed Peter, but she had to accept the fact that he was gone. He was gone and so was every one else who turned to dust. Like May and Stephen.

When Marinette decided to stay part of this world of magic and heroes, she gave the options to the others again. Made it clear they owe her nor the kwamis nothing if they wanted to pursue dreams and ambitions. Life was too short to not live, and all of them didn't need to be devoted to this life. This life was full of sacrifice, loneliness and pain.

This life was all Marinette felt like she had, it gave her a purpose to be the difference and try to maintain the fractured balance. She got to keep her promise to Tikki.

Yet they had decided stayed. Her friends, family really, stayed and still pursued what they did best as civilians. Eventually they accepted Marinette wasn't going to be as close or warm like she once was. She had her moments, but there was this part of her that feared losing anyone else, a part of her that seemed forever lost. The coward part of her mind just whispered it was her excuse to not be close to people. If she lost anyone else, hell she might become the next villan.

She couldn't help it, but the people around her seemed to understand this was her processing. To detach and just be there at least, it was better than having her half functioning. It was better than her being locked away as a catatonic mess in Peter's old room. That room held so many memories, most of them nostalgic now. They brought her warmth and comfort now, but left her yearning.

It was a gloomy day in Paris, grey clouds hung high in the air with the promise of rain. The wind was crisp, almost sharp with coolness that had Marinette's nose turning pink. Scrunching her nose, Marinette looked down where she stood. She had avoid coming all these year, avoid facing this but she needed to do this. She owed them that much.

Tom and Sabine's headstones stared right back at her, and Marinette couldn't help but wonder what her mother would have told her the past five years advice wise. Realistically, probably nothing since she would have been dust particles with the other half of Paris. To think, all that fighting and poof- bye bye half of the citizens her team fought so hard for.

"I miss you. Both of you." Marinette kneels down next to the two graves that marked where her parents permanently laid resting. Reaching out, Marinette's finger tips gently caresses the names carved in the stone, forefinger running along the dates. "I'm sorry this is the first time I'm visiting you, so much has happened. I wish you were still here to guide me."