unconditionally//unrelentlessly

-- THE THREE STAGES OF LOVE

     1. the first battle
the first love that you always had wished would have somehow worked out even though you reckon you had always known never would, but you can't deny that he was lovely and together you both were lovely but lovely was all it would ever be and you hate to admit to yourself that lovely is not sustainable enough for your hungry soul.

     2. the biggest loss
the one you fell so hard for. it was scraped elbows and bleeding knees through and through, yet together you were explosive and deliriously happy. she was everything you ever wanted and it would have been perfect if not for fickle time. leaving her was devastating and that day you swear you died, some days it seems her memories will never stop plaguing you. you gave her a part of yourself that you will never get back—never ask for back—and you can feel that odd little hollowness everyday, it's a bittersweet reminder that sometimes time is the biggest enemy of all (and that she's not yours anymore).

     3. the last one
the one you ended up with regardless of your feelings because they got lost somewhere along the way and you just gave up. you already knew time was your worst enemy and so you resorted to shoving your feelings into a box and killed yourself in a fit of mad desperation just for the fleeting high of victory. others may think you're masochistic but you don't care. (you're still trying to convince yourself that it was worth it)