Four Weekends & a Photograph (WAYHAUGHT)

Chapter 37

Mops stared out the window at the passing activity on the Thames. "A few days here should help."

"Definitely. Mops, if I were to-"

"And the medication."

"Yes, look, what if I were to not-"

"Darling, you would tell me if something's bothering you. You know, with you and Nicole."

"No, everything's fine."

"Only, you seem a little on edge lately."

This was my make, or break moment. Mops and Pops were owed an explanation as to why I was about to abandon my studies, and a safe career, to go off on some jolly jaunt feeding people vegetables which hopefully wouldn't poison anyone.

And so, I braced myself to tell my mother what I thought I wanted to do. "The thing is, I've been thinking."

"What if you came home," Mops continued. "You could commute to university during the week. It's not far. I could drive you. Or, we'll get you your own car. You really should have one by now."

"Mops, I want to be a chef."

"Sorry dear, a what?"

"A chef. Who cooks vegan cuisine."

Her attention was now fully on me. "Cook food? That's hardly a career. You're far too intelligent for that."

"Chefs need to be clever."

"But, anyone can be a chef. Look at Gordon Ramsay. All he ever does is swear. Frightful man."

"There's more to being a chef than swearing."

"Are you worried about your finals? Is that it?"

"No. Well yes. No, look, I need to find a career which speaks to me."

Mops' attention returned to the Thames. "Perhaps I pushed you too hard. I wanted you to have what I missed out on."

"I know the law means everything to you. I'm sorry, but-"

"I just don't see how being a chef will make you any happier. The kitchen has never been my favourite room. And, I dare say it's even more stressful than being a lawyer."

"It's what I want."

"At least finish your studies. We've invested rather a lot to get you established in a respectable career. It would be a shame to throw that away when you're so close to completing your degree."

"I...I guess so."

"Darling, it's for the best. You'll see I'm right."

Chance blown. Without going against Mops, or going behind her back, which she'd find out about anyway, there was little I could do other than finish the course. I understood Mops' concern about leaving a respectable university, where I was studying a respectable degree, to become a respectable lawyer. I also understood my parents had gone out of their way to support me, the cost of attending said respectable university considerable.

I couldn't let them down, not when I was this far in. I should have gone travelling, gone to Bali, but no, I hobbled home, and this is where I ended up. Admittedly, engaged to my gorgeous girl, with our whole lives ahead. Maybe Chrissy was right. Maybe all I needed were a few weeks' rest, time to clear my head, soldier on to the end. Maybe being a lawyer wasn't such a bad thing. Maybe I could dabble in cooking, go on food holidays, buy cook books, take courses.

All perfectly, perfectly respectable. So, why did I feel so fucking miserable?

By the time Mops left later that afternoon another migraine was tapping on the inside of my skull, telling me I had no escape route. Nicole found me on the bed staring at the few legal books I'd brought with me, asking what I was doing. I told her about the conversation with Mops.