Vent oneshots ♥︎ MCYT (Mainly Agere)

Lonely (noun)

TW: making self not regress, general depression, mentioned charater death, and just sadness

Littles: Tommy, Tubbo. CG: Puffy, Ranboo.

Todays episode of how much can Pond protect onto Tommy today!

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Tommy normally regressed alone, hidden away with colouring and his paci. Nobody on the smp knew about it, and that was the way it was supposed to be.

It wasn't like they wouldn't support him. He was a caregiver after all, and there were other littles on the server! Niki, Tubbo, Fundy, even Ghostbur in his lifetime. But that was partially the problem. Well Tommy wasn't any of their main caregivers, he was caregivers for all of them. Tubbo had Ranboo, Niki had Puffy, and Fundy had Eret. But Tommy had ended up being the one that any little would go to if their main caregiver couldn't.

Tommy wouldn't have it any other way. Even if it meant suppressing the want to have someone he could go to.

Tommy was immature, sure. But immature and unaware are two entirely separate things. He knew how to reign himself in. And in the end, if he was a little looser with the sugar in their angel milk or bedtimes, it made the littles smile. How else would everyone have become so reliant on him?

And then he died. And then each step began to feel weight down, and pretending to smile at the littles was becoming a chore. When all he wanted was to be little himself.

So he didn't let himself be little. He knew if he let the fog overwhelm his mind then he might just crack. Might just tell someone that he wasn't ok. And that would ruin everything.

So he buried himself in planning and working. Working on things he didn't even need. Plans for redstone farms he wouldn't even know how to make if he really tried.

Then he saw his brother drop into the headspace Tommy was so desperately avoiding. And Tommy had to hold himself together, help his brother breath when he couldn't breath himself. And watch as he was bashed in the head. Watch as the littles strangled whimper faded into the lava. Watch the chat message, confirming the worst.

And it was his fault.

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Tubbo was starting to get worried. Two days since the Ghostbur accident. Two days of no word from Tommy. Most of the server had tried to contact him by this point, to no avail.

It wasn't that they were being ignored. It seems as thou Tommy genuinely hadn't seen it. And that was what worried them most.

And that was what lead Tubbo to where he was now, outside of Tommy's door. He pushed open the door slowly, peaking around the room.

It was just as Tommy had left it when he left for  the prison. Nothing moved, no chests open.

The only difference was a object laying on Tommy's bed. His communicator. Cracked down the middle, completely unusable.

And that was when Tubbo panicked.

His heart pounded in his ears as he pushed past everyone he passed. Even as they asked worriedly and questioned him. He couldn't hear them. Couldn't hear anything.

He knew where Tommy was.

And it scared him to death.

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Tommy curled under the L'manburg flag that had been flying there a few nights prior. Nobody needed it anymore, and the bottom was charred and tattered.

He couldn't tell if he was asleep or awake. Someplace in between. All he knew was he was small. Very very small.

Far to small for such a big place.

The faint noises of someone clambering down the cliff sides sounded loud to Tommy. Yet he couldn't seem to make himself move. Only a small whimper pushed out his throat.

The goat hybrid trotted up to his best friends figure. Tommy was shivering, curled into himself as if he would never uncurl. When Tubbo rested his hand on Tommy's shoulder, Tommy flinched away violently. Tubbo didn't know what to do.

"Tommy, listen to me please. I won't touch you. I just need to know your ok." Tubbo whispered to his best friend. It was a stupid question, of course Tommy wasn't ok, but it was all he could think to say.

A shaking sob racked Tommy's body. He couldn't make himself move. But Tubbo's voice, the soft words of his best friend. Something in that started to break him out of the dissociation.

"Please Big Man, I'm here. Just listen to me." Tubbo sat down carefully. Tommy squeezed his eyes shut, his tense pose loosening slightly.

Minutes ticked by, the boys taking comfort in each other presence. Minutes after minute, Tommy's ragged breath slowed and the sobs shaking his frame slowed.

"Tu'o" Tommy choked out, looking up at Tubbo. His eyes were red and lips wet with tears. And a familiar dead shine was in his eyes, one Tubbo knew well.

"Little one," Tubbo said softly, "You safe now." Tubbo could feel his words slurring and the fog enveloping him already. He knew he had to push it off, just for a little longer.

Tubbo quickly typed into his communicator, and shared his location. Tommy pushed himself up clumsily and crawled into Tubbo's lap.

And Tubbo dropped. Headfirst into the same headspace as Tommy.

The littles clung to eachother, tears slipping down their faces. Tubbo babbled softly, letting the mentally younger cling to his voice.

It didn't take long for to figures to appear in the distance, running towards them with speeds only a speed potion could give. The rest of the journey blurred. Both littles were gently picked up into warm arms and taken away.

Ranboo could feel his heart break when Tommy, even half sleep, flinched at the first touch.

Ranboo and Puffy took them away. They weren't quite sure where they were going, just away from that place. And as L'manburg's remains faded to render distance, it became clear where they were going.

"I guess we have another little to take care of," Puffy smiled as they walked. They had slowed now, letting the steady pace rock the littles to sleep. Ranboo nodded.

"Maybe we always have, and just didn't know." Ranboo questioned softly, intertwining one of his hands with Tommy's hair. Ranboo's tall figure let Ranboo carry Tommy on his hip with relative ease.

And that was how Tubbo and Tommy ended up asleep in Puffy's office, curled inbetween the people who had now vowed to be both boy's caretaker. Warm, with food awaiting when they woke.

Even with all the steps it took to get there, even with each broken sob that it took.

It was perfect.