Love is For Fools // Loki Laufeyson

Part 35 - Science (or Lack Thereof)

I take his face in my hand before leaning down, pressing my forehead against his.  "I love you.  I'm such an idiot for not telling you sooner. I was so scared, and I thought that I'd have all the time in the world to tell you, but now I'm realizing just how naive of a thought that was-"

Loki presses his free arm against the back of my head, pulling me down so that our lips press together. As soon as our lips touch, my surroundings disappear. I furrow a brow, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. However, I blink and my surroundings change to my room in Stark Tower. It doesn't take long to realize that this is a memory. Why would Loki use the last of his strength to send me a memory? Is this his way of trying to communicate with me since he isn't physically capable of talking?

Deciding that there's only one way to find out, I focus my mind back on the memory at hand. I'm laying in bed with Loki during my recovery period after getting shot, both of us engaged in one of our many conversations. "What do you mean?" I ask Loki jokingly. I can tell from my tone that he just said something to tease me.

"Well, you're just so... practical. You are completely science-driven, and you believe that everything is caused by some scientific force."

"Am I wrong?"

"Yes," he laughs. "We're in a world where two alien princes are currently living on your planet, and you're lying in bed with one of them. There's a scientist with multiple PhDs who turns into a huge green illiterate monster every time he gets angry. My point is, there are some things that science just can't explain. You rely entirely too much on your science."

"Well, I guess I'll just ask magic to treat your men next time one of your missions fails."

He rolls his eyes. "Ha ha. You know, I bet that if you had superpowers and the perfect opportunity to use them, you would instead choose to use your science, even if the science failed you."

"Okay, that is one of the weirdest scenarios that you have come up with yet because 1) I don't have or ever will have superpowers, and 2) science never fails me."

He shrugs. "If you say so."

We send each other serious stares for a few seconds, then we burst into laughter. "Oh my god, I don't know how I'm still putting up with your shit," I chuckle.

He smiles playfully, wrapping an arm around my midsection to pull me closer. "Maybe it's because we make out instead of talk most of the time."

I shrug. "You may very well be right."

We both chuckle, leaning in to kiss the other. Unfortunately, the memory fades before we can kiss, and I am ripped back to reality.

I open my eyes just as Loki's lips leave mine, his body going limp in my arms. My eyes go wide, and I quickly use my left arm to support his upper body as I take his pulse with my right. "Loki, please, don't die on me," I mutter desperately.

Tears threaten to flow from my eyes as I wait in agonizing silence, waiting to feel a pulse under my fingertips. However, with each passing second, the realization that there's not going to be another pulse slowly sets in.

As if it were a wave, my grief suddenly comes crashing over me.  All my memories with Loki flood my mind, giving me glimpses of him smiling and laughing, arguing with me in our many heated arguments, and fighting me all while he still holds a passionate fire behind his eyes, one that took me far too long to realize its romantic undertone.  By the time we both realized our interest in each other, we had far too little time together. 

And now he's gone. 

Some naive part of me thought that we would have each other forever and that I wouldn't have to worry about losing him early.  I thought we'd have all the time in the world to create new memories and for me to tell him I loved him.  But now we don't and there's no feeling in my stomach beside the despair from realizing I will never see him or make those memories again.

My tears now beginning to fall, I pull Loki's body into mine, still holding my hand over his pulse point as if that'll help. "Please, please, please," I mutter, my voice shaking. I press my lips to his forehead, a sob escaping my throat. "I love you."

I wish life were like a movie, and this were the moment where the main characters showed that love always prevails, by some supernatural force resuscitating the dead partner just by saying the words "I love you." But life isn't a movie, there's no supernatural force to resuscitate Loki, and no matter how many times I tell Loki I love him, it will not-

Wait a damn minute.

There is a supernatural force.

Oh my god, I am an idiot. The memory Loki gave me; he was trying to tell me to use my powers and stop relying on science. The Ancient One saying that there's always another way; she was hinting that I'd have to use my powers. I am so fucking stupid.

But... how exactly am I supposed to use my powers? I still don't entirely know what they are, or how to use them.

I take a deep breath, trying to semi-compose myself before trying to pull off what will defy the laws of science as I know it.  Realizing I have no better place to start, I clear my mind, starting this with a blank slate.  I have absolutely no idea what to do, so I decide to do the opposite of what my instincts say to do; I go with my gut.

I place both of my hands on either side of Loki's face, absorbing his somehow-peaceful expression.  I sigh; I never thought it would hurt this much to lose him.  Refusing to let my grief further settle in, I inhale slowly as I close my eyes, trying to clear my mind (which is much easier said than done).

I carefully pull Loki's face toward me, planting a kiss on his forehead all while keeping my eyes closed.  This time, my words come out much more calmly, almost as a whisper. "I love you."

As I slowly open my eyes and draw back from him, I gasp lightly upon seeing a ring of glowing green energy dissipating from the spot where I kissed him, disappearing beneath his skin.  Green is glowing from each of my hands, which are still holding the side of his face.

Just as I'm about to question what the hell I should do next, an idea pops into my mind.  If I absorbed the time stone's power, then I can most likely use that to alter time - or undo something that has already happened.  Deciding to give it a try, I focus the energy on undoing all of Loki's injuries, praying that it's doing something.

Green light begins emanating from Loki's body, and I watch in amazement as it glows brighter than ever in between the skin of my hands and Loki's face.  The light almost feels sparkly in a way, so transparent that it looks like glitter as the lighting changes.

As suddenly as the light appeared, it shrinks back into Loki's body.  Just as I'm about to remove a hand to check his pulse, Loki gasps for air, his eyes flying open.

My jaw drops, tears flooding my vision again, except this time from joy.  Loki's eyes immediately meet mine and he smiles, bringing his hand to hold mine which is still cupping his face.  "Hello, my love."

Faster than humanly possible, I lean down and kiss Loki, readjusting one of my arms to wrap around his upper back.  He brings a hand behind my head, drawing away to reposition himself before we lock lips again.  This kiss is so different from any kiss we have ever shared; every single one of my emotions is heightened, and I cannot think of a single thing that I want more than to be here with Loki in my arms.  My neurons are firing faster than my brain can comprehend; I want to kiss him, talk to him, and hold him as tightly to me as possible all at the same time.

After what feels like no time at all, Loki breaks off the kiss, stopping to catch his breath.  He takes my tear-streaked face in his hands, looking it up and down.  "All for me?  You really thought I was dead?"

I smile as I nod.  "I was genuinely terrified."

He slowly sits up, never releasing my face.  "And what you said?  Did you truly mean that you love me?"

"Truer than your hatred of kip-ups."

He chuckles lightly, stroking my cheekbone with his thumb.  "Well, in that case-"

He leans forward and presses his lips to mine, and I feel myself melt into his warm embrace once again.