She's Ours, Now and Always

Lost

Ash's POV

What time was it? How many hours have passed? How many days? 

I couldn't think, I couldn't move.

How could I have been so stupid? I let my mate run out, alone, and didn't go after her. Because of me, she was out there somewhere. The only solace I had was that I would feel if she died, and I hadn't felt that heart stopping pain yet, so she was alive. The question was: For how much longer?

Father wouldn't let me help. He said I needed to look after the pack, but I heard the same lines Raven had said flowing from his mouth. He was trying to calm me with giving me a purpose, an idea. But the only thing I wanted to do was find the son of a bitch who did this and kill him. Whoever did it made a huge mistake. And they would pay for it.

A knock sounded on the door and I looked up as Aries walked in. I sat up from the bed and held Raven's pillow in my lap.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine," came my brother's quiet reply.

"I'm sorry. I was such an idiot. If I had gone after her, if I had tried to stop her, then this would never have happened," I said, and then the tears came.

Aries got onto the bed and hugged me and I sobbed into Raven's pillow. Ever since we were born, I had protected Aries, hugged him when he was sad, encouraged him when he was unsure, and calmed him when he was angry. But now, here he was, keeping me together just when I started falling apart. I don't know how long we stayed like this, but after a while, I fell asleep in my brother's arms, with Raven's pillow hugged against me.

Aries' POV

I stroked his hair as his sobs stopped and his breathing lengthened. Only when I knew he was asleep did I get up and leave. My wounds had healed and I wanted to look for Raven as much as Ash did. But I knew I needed to be here, to protect the pack and to protect my brother. Because he always felt responsible for whatever happened. If it wasn't one thing, it was another, and now it was the kidnapping of Raven.

Mother waited for me at the bottom of the stairs and as I reached her, she hugged me close.

"He's afraid of losing you."

"MOre of Raven then of me."

"No. He's afraid of losing you both. He almost lost you, and now he's lost Raven. This will make him need you much more than usual. Let your father and Jenny handle to hunt, you stay with me and look after your brother."

"I'll look after the pack mother. You shouldn't even be out of bed yet."

"Aries darling. I healed forever ago. I'm fine. You need to worry about your brother. You know how his wolf is."

I shuddered at the thought. Last time I had broken my arm, Ash went into a rage and destroyed half the pack house. I couldn't even imagine what he would do.

-----

Ash woke up and came down stairs to sit with mother and I as mother cooked dinner. He still held Raven's pillow to him, and I was glad. HE found something to keep him calm until we could figure out something else. For where I was, in the kitchen, I too could smell her scent on the pillow and felt myself relax a little. 

A year ago I never knew Raven, never knew what it was like to have a mate, and I was fine with it. But Raven's changed that for me all together. She made me want, she made me need something. But she also made me feel empty and alone when she wasn't there, within sight.

I loved her. That was it. I loved her so much, and I didn't even know how someone could have loved another in such a short time. In less than a week, I had loved her, needed her, been scared for her, pampered her, made her laugh, and kept her safe. But now, with her gone, well, I didn't really know how to live any more.

Five days passed in extructiating slowness. Father hadn't found anything, but he still looked. Mother joined him and they tore through everything they could find. Nothing not a sign of her.

Each hour, I felt myself lose hope. It felt like someone opened Pandora's Box and let Hope free. I hated it. I couldn't leave the house, I couldn't breathe properly, I couldn't think anymore. Raven's scent was everywhere now, on the couch, on her clothes, in the bathroom. I wanted to roll in it and at the same time I wanted to clean everything, to erase the girl who stole my heart and my mind. 

Blood dripped down into the water and I sighed. Anger was getting me no where. So I cleaned the cut and watched it heal as I cleaned up the broken glass. Ash came in a helped me, silent and cold as ever. I grew angry, he grew cold. He didn't talk to anyone unless it was me, and even then, it was short sentences. He was giving up, and I was angry at him. But I knew that he wasn't truely giving up, only trying to mask the pain he felt. We both were, but he did a better job than I did.

Ash's POV

I looked at the broken mirror and traced the light mark on the wall where it use to hang. Aries and broken another glass. I knew what he saw in it, I did too. Raven was in the glass, everywhere. She would be smiling and watching us, but I now knew not to look behind me any more, I couldn't take it when she wasn't really there.

'Ash. Aries. Can you hear me?'

'Father?'

'Breathe.'

That was all he said before he was gone. Breathe? What did that mean? I took a deep breath, trying to figure it out when it hit me. Vanilla. I smelled vanilla. I was out of the bathroom and down the staris almost as quick as a rabbit. Vanilla. She smelled like vanilla. I opened the door and there she was, standing there in a blanket, smiling at me. I ran over to her and hugged her and she hugged me back.

"I'm sorry."

I opened my eyes and nearly howled. I was in my room, alone. Vanilla was still in my nose, but a deep breath cleared it and it was gone. Fuck.  

WIth a sigh, I rolled over and went back to sleep. Later on, I woke to my brother climbing into bed with me and then we both were asleep. Both dreaming of a girl with red hair and green eyes that kept disapearing when we tried to touch her.

Sorry guys. I got a little stuck since I hadn't written in a while. So this is a filler. And someone told me to try and use the boys' POV, so here it is. Good news, I have a really good idea that you'll all like. Bad news, I don't know when I'll write it out.

Love you all and thank you for staying with me.