Love For Life

34. Don't Go. I knew I Was Wrong

Xia He pursed her lips in wordless silence, her refusal to answer confirmed Gu Zechuan's assurance all the more that the child was indeed Millie's and his!

Thank goodness, Millie and the child, they were both alive!

Paying no minds to all the onlookers' watchful stares, Gu Zechuan reached his hand out to touch Xia He's cheek, but as soon as his hand moved, Xia He subconsciously flinched and drew back fearfully, leaving Gu Zechuan's hand hanging awkwardly in midair.

But to Gu Zechuan, he was happy enough, knowing that Xia He still lived.

''Millie, if you didn't pass away, why didn't you come back to find me?'' Gu Zechuan asked, in a soft voice, keeping the expression on his face as relaxed and gentle as he could, doing his best to avoid agitation Xia He.

But, having heard Gu Zechuan's question, Xia He's gradually calming heart raced as emotions of all sorts conflicted within her. Quickly, she covered her mouth as a violent fit of coughs took her, and Gu Zechuan panicked. He almost forgot, that though Xia He lived, but it wouldn't change the fact that she was still terminally ill. Already at the final stage of her cancer, there was not even one possible way that she could ever be cured.

As Xia He took her hand away, a splatter of blood appeared in her palm. She was coughing blood again. As Gu Zechuan saw the ball of blood in her hand in all its goriness, his heart pained.

''Come back? Find you?'' Xia He couldn't help but let a trail of bitterness seep into her voice. Throughout these two years, and even now, sometimes at night, she still dreamed of that time when she called Gu Zechuan, asking him to see her one last time, but he only replied in emotionless apathy that it'd be better if she would just go and die on her own.

''Gu Zechuan, didn't you wanted me to die so much? You even said, that the world would be a better place, with me dead, so why would I even come back to you? So you can trample my heart beneath your foot once more?'' Xia He said, mournfully, with despair.

As Xia He and Gu Zechuan's conversation became more and more personal, Qin Xuan realized that perhaps these were things that he, as an outsider, would be inappropriate to hear. At that, with the child still in his arms, he went away and waited at a distance, out of earshot.

Hearing Xia He say that with so much despair and helplessness, Gu Zechuan's heart pained so much that he felt as he couldn't breathe. The way that he had treated her, the things that he had said to her, he was a trash of a human being through and through!

''And you never believed anything I said. Out of the entire world, you trusted only Yang Qinglian's words. So? What's the occasion today? You didn't take that little tart of your out with you today?'' Xia He smiled in mocking pretension.

Seeing a thin trail of blood still dripping down from the corner of her mouth, Gu Zechuan took a white handkerchief from his pocket, and gently approached Xia He. Instinctively, Xia He's head reeled back in the opposite direction, but this time Gu Zechuan was prepared. He caught the back of her head gently with his other hand, and supported her from behind.

With the handkerchief in his hand, Gu Zechuan dabbed lightly at the blood at the corner of Xia He's lips, ever so gentle with his touch as if he treating his most prized possession in the entire world.

''I was wrong before. I was blind. Now, I know everything that Yang Qinglian had done. She and her mother both got the punishment they deserved. I won't ask if you could ever forgive me. That would be too much to ask of you and more than I could ever deserve, but I only ask that you will come back to my side, and let me look after you, alright?'' Gu Zechuan said, with all the gentleness in the world.

Xia He was surprised, ''You weren't with your Yang Qinglian now?''

''All the people that has ever hurt you before, I took care of all of them, down to the last person. Millie, come back to me and rest assured. No one else in the world would ever dare to hurt you again.'' Gu Zechuan said.

''Did you now? But, the one that has hurt me the most, is you. Gu Zechuan.'' Xia He retorted quietly, but her voice remained cold, disheartened.

Xia He waved with her hand, and ppushed away Gu Zechuan's hand with the handkerchief that attempted to wipe away the blood that was on her palm. ''I won't burden you further now. Just treat it as if I have already died.''

With that, Xia He turned and began heading to where Qin Xuan stood waiting for her. But Gu Zechuan just couldn't let Xia He disappear right from in front of his eyes again.

''Millie, don't go!'' Gu Zechuan was at a loss. In his panic, he acted out of instinct and put his hands around Xia He into a hug from behind.

Xia He struggled to break free of his embrace, but there was simply no way that her frail body can ever hope to overcome Gu Zechuan in a contest of strength.

''Please, I beg of you. Don't ever leave me again. What about the letter? Did you forget about the letter, that letter you sent to me?'' In his panic, Gu Zechuan simply said whatever that happened to come into his mind, hoping to draw out the conversation with Xia He.