Held by heart strings

chapter 10 trigger words

I walked up the steps, limping slightly. I know Morro and Cole are waiting for me so I better be careful. Don't want them to know about what happened. I sighed. As much as I wanted to tell them, I couldn't. She would know if I did and who knows how many of them she could kill before she's stopped. I reached the dark-colored door, feeling each crease in it, marks from battle, and calming feeling of the wood, examining the color and texture of the door as if it was an interesting looking weapon, one forged from the strongest and shiniest of metals. I smiled as I looked at the lines in the door. So much is put into this one piece of wood. It tells a story, one it's watched from both inside and outside the walls of the monastery. I sighed as I reached for the cold, gold, metal handle. Feeling the smoothness of the metal as I turned the handle and opened the door silently. I turned and watched as the world outside these walls was blocked off as I closed the door. I looked at the wood again, this time the half on the inside. The marks on this side are more noticeable,  with the years of training withered onto the piece of wood. Cuts from swords, daggers, and holes from Nyas trident deeply engraved into it. I smiled at the memories of our training sessions; each one bringing different feelings of joy, sadness, anger, and frustration. The battles that brought us pain yet gained us a place in this cruel and unforgiving world that seeks nothing but to bring you down and won't stop until you break. I turned to walk to my room yet before I took a step forward; I was met by two figures standing in front of me. I jumped back startled somehow not making a sound. Cole gave me a small reassuring smile once I caught my breath. "So how did it go?" Morro asked walking closer to me noticing I had calmed down from the startle they gave me. I gave them a calm laugh. "You guys scared me. Didn't see you behind me." I mumbled before walking by them continuing to my path to where I was heading. "It went well surprisingly. She concluded that what she did was way too obvious and put two and two together. Knowing at least one of you guys noticed what happened she gave up and let me go. She won't be a problem. I just have to delete her from my contacts and this all will be over." I stated, biting my tongue as this rotten taste grew in my mouth, as if I could taste the terrible lies I was spewing out as if I did this on a normal day, it came so naturally. I didn't need to strain my voice or cover my emotions, nothing about my posture said something was wrong. Nothing indicated something happened. I guess that's my fault; I hid my feelings and pain for so long growing up that it's become a staple part of my complexion.
Cole and Morro looked at each other somewhat doubtingly. "She did?" Cole questioned me once again. I turned around not even looking at them. "Yeah! No problem whatsoever!" I exclaimed. Morro seemed convinced and nodded. "Ok. Here, let's get those bruises cleaned up then." He said calmly. I followed Morro, listening to Coles footsteps following behind intently. I kept alert. I know it's just Cole and Morro and they have been my friends for a while now. I have no resin to be as alert, however. They could turn their backs on me at any moment. Lock me in a dark room, throw me off the side of the mountain, anything. They can do anything to me if I'm not careful enough. I eyed where we were heading. Keeping my eye out for anything that could help me if there is any sign of danger. Looking at the wooden walls of the monastery, all covered in marks from our mass amount of weapons. Weapons that can kill a person if used the right way. A blade is a delicate yet deadly and vile contraption that can do nothing but harm to whatever or whomever it's used on. I snapped pit of my thoughts as we walked into my room, I sat on my bed. I'm home and should feel safe, however, I don't. I'm anxious, looking around for any danger.  "Kai I need you to take off your shirt so I can make sure those are the only bruises you have." Coles's voice broke through the fog that surrounded my mind. It took me a moment to process what he said but once I did I felt a strong rise in panic. Flashes from last night shot through my head. The hands, the voices, pain, screaming. The screaming. My screaming... My voice. I was screaming, crying. Pain the pain, oh my God the pain. The hands, my arm, chest, neck- can't breathe, I can't breathe, can't breathe, oh my God I'm going to die! I need air! I can't bre- "hey, hey, hey kai..." I heard Cole continue to speak. "Kai you need to breathe," Morro spoke up. "Hey... Bud, I need you to follow my breathing pattern. Follow me. Hey, bud come on... Buddy. Hey, you need to listen to me you're going to pass out." Cole continued.

This is bad. We can't get him to calm down. "Cole stop talking and don't touch him," Morro ordered. I glared at him. "What the fuck Morro! That's not how you help a friend!" I snapped back. He glared at me. "Remember what he said! He remembers voices, fear, and hands touching him! He started freaking out because you told him to take his shirt off! There must be some connection of that to those memories. Don't speak and don't touch him!" He yelled back. I went silent and let go of kai. Eventually, his breathing slowed. He looked at us and sighed before mumbling. "Sorry... I... I didn't mean to." I looked at Morro who nodded. "No, no it's fine kai. The trauma you have from last night is still embedded in your mind. A reaction like that to certain things is expected. However, that leaves us with another issue." Morro said as he grabbed the bandages for me. Both Kai and I looked at him. "What may that be?" I asked. "What do we do if someone uses a trigger word or does something that triggers this around the others or in the middle of a battle?"

Another chapter is done. I'm very proud of myself from Kai's point of view. The mass amount of detail really seems to show his anxiety