Eli & Juno

4- Running

The whistle blows, signalling us to a stop. I'm dragged out of my trance, and back to reality. I finish the lap anyway.

Sometimes I wish I could run forever.

There are no thoughts while running. Only my legs and arms pumping, my shoes grinding against the gravel, sweat on my back and the air rushing past me and stinging my lungs.

I join the group in the center of the track. Daren smiles at me. I wave back. He's the reason I'm on this course. People call me his prodigy, and I'm inclined to agree with them. Daren's been grooming me to take over for him ever since I came first in the one hundred meters during our semi-finals. After that, the football captain Owen was impressed too. Somehow, I got wrapped up into both, and I'm stretched between three passions:

Track, football and dance.

I'm not even sure I like the first two. Not like I love to dance.

Daren calls up Cassidy to lead us through some warm up. I half-ass them, not quite touching my toes. My mind is elsewhere. Fixed on Eilana again. She's the definition of flaky. She told me she was coming over tonight, but once again I have no idea where she is or what she's doing. I'd meant to text her after calculus to check, but time had spilled away and here I was. Daren wasn't a very strict captain, but the coach was serious about no phones during practice. He benched Dahlia last year for calling her mother during break. Not that it stuck, after everyone found out she was calling about her aunt's aunts funeral. But it taught everyone a lesson.

Daren sets us all running laps. Technically, this isn't tryouts. More like a scout out to see who's actually worth having at the tryout. A few years ago when half of the school showed up, the principal implemented the rule. It's insane how many people I see jogging right now. It's even more insane that some of these kids have a chance. One kid is actually reading a book as they go around. Another group is so deep in their conversation they're vearing off into the field.

A few people are littered in the stands. I recognize Meg crying in the front seats. I wonder if she and Aaron broke up for the seventeenth time.

I think I spot new kid in the back, his white hair shading his eyes as he pours over a book, but I don't get the chance to focus on it. Walking across the field dressed up in turquoise leather is April. She waves at me. I give a nervous wave back. She motions for me to come over.

I run faster in the opposite direction, overtaking Erik. He shoots me an annoyed look. I try for a smile, but my nerves are jackknifing in my heart. Why was she here? I thought we were meeting at the house?

I ignore the way my sweat goes cold and try to get myself under control. It's fine. She had a car. I had a car. We could drive home separately. Pippa had arranged a ride with Lu anyway. (I almost threw up when I heard.) I take a deep breath. I hear a whistle, and I turn. Daren motions for me to slow down.

"We're just jogging August," he says when he catches up with me.

I glance at April, then back at him. "I'll race you."

"Loser reads the cuts?"

"Sounds good to me."

Daren lengths his strides. "You're on."

I sprint past April, ignoring the way she shouts at me to slow down. I see her make a half attempt to catch up, then run faster, neck and neck with Daren.

I'm going to be so sore during dance practice tomorrow.

. . .

I win by the skin of my teeth, and only because Daren goes easy on me. He would've had to deal with the cuts anyway. It's his job as captain, and so know he'd feel guilty if I took the fall. Till, it feels good to brag.

Daren laughs. "Cheap shot." He jerks his bottle towards me, and half the water splashes on me. I laugh, shaking my head like a wet dog and splattering some of last years team. We're all here, and we're basically insured a spot, even though none of it is on paper.

They shout at me. I laugh and wave goodbye to them. I rush to the locker rooms and quickly change. I grab my watch. I still have a bit of time before the buses leave, but not enough to stall. I have dance rehearsal.

If I were to walk to the studio, it'd take me about ten minutes to get there. But because I don't want to lug myself around all day, I have to pick it up at home first.

I come back outside. I nudge the toe of my boot against the grass. No frost yet. We're getting close though. My stomach swirls with dread. The snow last year was so bad I spent hours trying to get the cars out of the driveway.

The field is mostly cleared out now. I few grumpy students stand around, bad-mouthing coach and Daten. There used to be a time when I would've gone and said something. But eventually, I realized like everyone else that high school is pointless. Maybe if I were someone else, I would've gone up and said something blatantly clever. But I'm not someone else. I'm just me. Just Juno. Saying something clever never works for me. Saying nothing works for me. So I keep my head down and hurry past.

I scan the track for April, but she's nowhere in sight. With a little luck, she got called away by some gossip and won't come around at all.

My mouth feels dry. I don't know why I'm so eager to get rid of her. A bitter taste coats my tongue as April's words fills my head. You have a whole future setup.

I swallow. Future. My future. Why am I stuck with this future? Why am I stuck being tutored?

I look up. Crossing the parking lot is French Girl. She's got earbuds in, and a tray of cupcakes in hand. The whole world passes her by and she doesn't even lookup.

A bright red car rounds the corner, going much too fast. I shout out, but my voice is drowned out by the roar of the engine. I know that car. April's dad wouldn't stop talking about it. He owns a car repair shop, and one day he told me all about how he fixed it up from scraps.

That was April's car.

I stare in blind horror as the car speeds on.