under the mistletoe

i saw mommy kissing santa claus

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I pace around my bedroom, deep in thought. My ears ring and I can't stop panicking. Thinking about what Luke asked me and what that would encompass.

Luke? Be my boyfriend- or fake boyfriend I guess he really did. He wants to treat me right. He wants to hold hands and hug me and hold me and-

"JULIE!"

I widen my eyes and look towards Luke who's sitting on my bed. His legs crossed while he sits straight. Hands in his lap as he waits around, "I swear, you look like you're about to pass out"

I sigh and sit down beside him, "This is a lot"

"I know" Luke says with a nod.

"And it's a big commitment" I gesture towards him.

"I know that too" Luke forces a laugh as he reaches for my hand, finding and grabbing it.

His hands are tough in mine. His fingertips rough and calloused, probably from guitar and or manual labour. They're warm to the touch and almost immediately lower my guard.

"You don't have to decide anything right now, I mean sooner would be better than later" He says the last part with a little laugh. His eyes don't meet mine once, they stay focused on the little details of the creases of my palm, like he's entranced by my hand. "I just want you to feel comfortable and safe. I mean we could make it fun!"

I can't help a small smile form upon my lips. He has that kinda effect on me and I absolutely HATE it. "Ok, I'll be your fake girlfriend" Emphasis on fake.

"Wait wait-" Luke stands up and looks around the room. Like a sense of excitement and childish behaviour clouds him, he waddles over to my dresser. Upon the furniture piece lays a vase of flowers that possess a bouquet of magenta dahlias.

"What are you doing?" I giggle as Luke takes my hand and makes me stand up as he kneels to the ground with the flower. My eyebrow raises as well as a thousand little questions.

With the flower poised in my direction, he clears his throat with the goofiest little smile, "Julie... what's your middle name?"

"Carmen..." I reply with hesitation.

Luke clears his throat and nods, "Julie Carmen Molina, will you do me the honour of being my girl-"

"No" I deadpan.

Luke's smile drops as he relaxes his arm, "Oh come on, let me have this" He rolls his eyes but you can see the laughter behind them.

I hold back a smile as I nod, "Ok. Continue"

"Well you ruined the whole thing. I need to start from the beginning now" Luke scoffs with the look of annoyance but playfulness.

"Just do it" I scoff.

"Just do it" Luke mocks in a high pitched tone, "Whatever. Ok from the top" He takes his dramatic position as I pinch the bridge of my nose and shake my head slightly.

"Julie Carmen Molina. Will you do me the honour of being my most wonderful, amazing, beautiful, girlfriend?"

I smile and take the flower, smelling it with a bit lip, "Yeah sure, why not?"

I stare at the ceiling as I lay in bed. My eyes not feeling heavy like they should at this time of night, but how could I sleep? I mean it's not so easy.