goodbye to a world

10

!!!WARNING!!!
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self harm

Negative thoughts

Blood.

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|Kaminari POV|

Yet again, my mind was lingering in a dark room, or maybe, i was just blind. Blind like everyone is of how i feel.. No, maybe its just me.. Am I the reason they don't care? Maybe if it was someone els, they would care.
Like kirishima, or mina.. But im just silly, stupid ol' dunce face. To everyone, I am just a background character, Im just someone who's out to get laughs, Im the so called "joy" in everyones life that they said they needed.

No, Im less.

Im nothing, but a stupid, worthless, whore who doesn't have a life.

Yes, thats what I am, thats all I am, and thats all I'll ever be.

The darkness started to fade away as the light seeped in. I slowly opened my eyes, the light only seeming brighter than the sun.

I heard shuffling from beside me. Figuring out that i wasn't alone, i spoke.

"Can you turn the light off..?" I mumbled. There was a awkward silence.

"Kami, the lights are off and my blinds are closed?" He replied.

I layed there, with not much emotion. "Oh." I simply said in return. I sat up, only to yelp as pain shot up my whole body. It felt exactly like how my quirk does when im in my "whey" mode.

Bakugo nearly jumped off the bed, whipping his head to look at me.

"GODDAMNIT KAMINARI-" Bakugo screamed, but stopped once he noticed the tears tripping down my face.

He sighed.

No, I wasn't crying because of the pain, i was crying due to what caused the pain. I brought my aching arm up to my face and wiped the tears off, trying to make myself look strong but failed miserably.

Hands gently wrapped around my forearms and pulled them down to my lap. I looked up and seen bakugo- with a concerned look, giving me direct eye contact.

Though he didn't look all concerned, he looked confused, angry. Was he mad at me? Did I do something wrong... again?

Thinking about this only made me cry more. I tried wiping away my tears and holding in my emotions but, quite frankly, it didn't work, I was to much of a cry baby.

My lip quivered and my hands shook in bakugos grasp.

He pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly. Dispite my body still throbbing with pain, I hugged him back.

We went through this until my sobbing calmed down. Though, I was scared. I was scared to explain... this.

"So.. do you want to talk about it?" He asked suprisingly gentle.

I stared at the floor.

"I-i. Not really.." I paused, trying to piece back together my mind so I don't lose my shit again.

"Thats okay. But, I want to know eventually." He demanded.

I nodded, playing with the sleeve of my hoodie. I stared at the bathroom door, as if it was trying lure me in or something.

"Im.. going to take a shower, maybe that will help get everything off my mind." I suggested to myself.

"Good idea, I'll be down in the common room once you get out." He told me, I nodded and walked into the bathroom, locking the door.

I walked in, turning on the water all the way to hot. I stripped myself of my clothes, but grabbing the discarded shard of glass that was hidden in my pocket. I threw the clothes on the floor, and stepped into the boiling hot water, hissing once it touched my bare skin. I sat down on the floor and examined the glass shard, though not really caring wether I infect myself or not.

I place the glass shard on my stomache, pressing down hard and driving it across my stomache, from the right side to the left. It stung, yes, but not as bad as I thought it would. I looked down at my stomache that had blood quickly seeping out of the cut. It was a fairly deep cut, but not deep enough to need stitches. I did the same thing bellow the first slit, and then again, and again, and again, and again.. Before I knew it, the water was stained red and my wrist, shoulders, stomache, and thighs were covered in red lines, some long, some short, some diagonal and some straight.

I smiled, despite how bad it stung. I dealt with it. I deserved the pain anyway. I stood, almost falling over due to how much blood I lost. I washed the blood off my body and stepped out. I slid on the clothes i had picked out and carefully walked out of the bathroom, to tired to search for blood staines. I grabbed my phone and walked down to the common room. Seeing everyone eather eating, watching movies, on their phone, or playing games.

Though I didn't see bakugo anywhere. I guess they all heard someone walking down the staires and whipped their heads around to stare at me. I smiled awkwardly, kinda afraid.

"KAMI!" Mina jumpes up out of her seat and hugged me like it was the end of the world.

I almost yelped in pain but pushed it down.

"Nice to see you too." I laughed. Bringing back my "normal" personality.

"Where the hell did YOU GO EARLIER YOU JUST LEFT US!" She screamed.

(Yall when I was typing "she screamed" the "s" didnt work and I typed "she creamed")

My soul almost jumped out of my body.

"I-i uh. I.." I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly.

"WELL?!" She was about to fuss at me again, but noticed i was close to breaking down in tears.

"Kami.. Are you okay?" Her concern only made me feel worse.

"Yeah im great!" I lied through my teeth, but it was obvious that i was lying because my tears were about to wet my face. "I need to use the restroom real quick!" I exclaimed, trying to walk away from the situation. And luckily, it worked. I walked to the restrooms, opening and locking the door. I stripped myself of my shirt. All the bruises, bight marks, and the cuts that were made earlier stuck out like a spot light was shining on them. My skin was, so pail.. it was obvious I wasn't eating or taking care of myself at all. The tears that were in my eyes finally spilled, next thing i know i was on the ground cradling myself. I pulled my hair, tying to hold my sobs back, but i failed. A small sob escaped my throat, and so did another, and another, and another, and another.. Each individual one getting louder and louder.

I would doubt that the whole common room hadn't heard me disgustingly crying.

Im so fucking pathetic, who, who would even give a shit about me? Im stupid! Bakugo's just faking it, their all faking it! I punched myself over and over again until my whole body was aching. I couldn't stop crying, i grabbed my phone, opening the case and pulling out a blade that i had stashed in it. I rolled up my sleeve, stabbing myself. Not caring if i bled intil i died or not.

Y'know what? I would rather die than live this shit life!

I stuck the blade far into my arm and slid it up all the way to my elbow. The blood quickly flowing out like a waterfall. Black dots filled my vision, i looked down, and the last thing i saw was me setting in a puddle of my own blood..

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NO REGRETS, HOPE YALL ARE HAVING A GOOD DAY/NIGHT!❤😁✌

To take notice that all subjects in this fanfiction are NOT being glorified in any way, I DO NOT support self harm or rape in any way. Im just a teen obsessed with angst.