Crybaby || angst & smut

3.6K 16 2
                                    

Summary: You turn to JJ to cry and let everything out to

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: reckless driving, panic attack type symptoms, talk of suicide, unedited work

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Your eyes brimmed with tears after yet another fight with your parents. Your throat felt thick and burned. It was hard to swallow, your body shaking intensely, and you could barely see anything in front of you.

You were speeding down the road, pavement turning to gravel in the blink of an eye. It was almost a straight shot to JJ's house. That's all that mattered, getting to JJ. He was the only one you wanted to see.

Your mother's words filled your head, making chills cover your overheating body.

You're such a little bitch! You'll never be good enough for anyone! You're a disappointment! You're an embarrassment to have around!

Thinking of these made the tears become thicker, almost completely blocking your vision. You jerked to a stop pulling onto the dirt driveway that was JJ's house. You unbuckled and frantically jumped out. You hit your hip while shutting the door, a small whimper escaping. You put your hand, applying pressure to the oddly deep pain.

You walked around the back, your breathing becoming shallow. Your ears rang as you walked around the side. JJ was sitting in the lawn chairs that had yellowed and stained over time.

You couldn't get any words out of your mouth as you approached him. He had his earphones on, beer bottle in hand. You removed your hand from your hip, stopping to stand right in front of him. You reached out, tapping his shoulder.

"Oh my god, baby are you okay?" He removed his earphones, set the beer on the ground, and stood. You burst out crying again, wailing as you crumpled into yourself on the ground.

JJ came down and held you, holding you. His hand was cradling the back of your head and the other on your back making sure you didn't fall any which way.

"It'll be okay don't worry," his words only made you cry harder. You held your breath, a silent scream escaping.

You're too stupid to make it through school! You don't deserve anything! Why don't you just go marry that stupid fucking pogue!

He shushed you comfortingly as he slightly rocked you back and forth. You finally inhaled a long deep breath before letting it out. It makes your body shake with every wail that escapes.

You're fucking worthless to this family! You'll never amount to anything! Get the fuck out I don't even want to look at you!

You collapsed farther letting your legs give out, your butt hit the cold dirt underneath you, your legs falling to the front of you. JJ stayed in the same position.

"Just breathe with me y/n, just breathe," he began counting as you heard him breathe in. Your breath was shaky as you tried to follow his instructions. You breathed in as he counted to 4. "Now hold it," He pulled back your face and wiped your tears, counting to 7. "Now out slowly," he then counted to 8.

"Good," he smiled at you, you kept breathing out shakily every time. His soft eyes looking at you.

"What are 5 things you see?" He asked, he pulled you into him once more, holding you tightly.

You looked around, taking in your surroundings, "You're bike, the chair, your beer bottle, Ummm-" you paused looking around for more things, "your hat, and that hammer," you choked out, your breathing hitching every few words.

"Wait, where was the hat?" he stood swiftly, spinning around, looking for his red cap, the only light coming from the white Christmas lights string along the roof. You pointed to the spot between the grill and the house. He picked it up and placed it backward on his okay, "Okay," he smiled at you.

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