The Seven Boyfriends Of Pansy Parkinson

08

PANSY: Those last months of our sixth year we're everything.

We'd spend hours on her bed just making out each time taking it one step further.

I remember when she took off her shirt I just stared for awhile.

"Stop being a weirdo" she laughed and pulled me close to her. Skin on skin.

I also loved the way she admired my body.

I guess I skipped a part.

The part where that women knew me better than anyone. She understood my silence, she listened and she cared. She would hear my problems and just listen.

But then she'd fix it all for me.

I told her how I didn't understand my homework and somehow she would get the professor to have a one on one with me to help me.

How do you even describe that feeling? She just cared about me more than anything. She told me too herself.

"Drugs or you. I'd pick you. Music or you. You."

I'd laugh and tell her she didn't know what she was talking about. Even if they were lies I loved how she genuinely believed it.

I showed her my dark mark.

DRACO: it's like a rite of passage. When you love someone you show them your mark. You give them your worst and hope they don't run away in horror.

Astoria kissed mine. It never hurt again.

PANSY: I cried to her. I told her how to that day it hurt and it would hurt for the rest of my life. You know what she did?

She would once a day give me a healing ointment and these patches that block the receptors to feel pain.

She gave me peace for a couple hours a day.

I let her see that part of me everytime we wanted to get intimate. She understood, or maybe she didn't and just lied to make me feel better.

She never asked me what we were. She was scared of the answer I'd give her. I was too.

We thought our secrecy protected our connection.

I thought labels didn't matter. I would do anything to stay by her side. So why put myself in a position to lose her?

I couldn't hold her hand in public. Kiss her in public. I couldn't do any of that.

Morrigan said she didn't mind and I believed her.

SCOTT: I wanted Morrigan to be happy, we all did. Plus her songs were just getting better and better.

JAMES: As her best friend I wanted to tell Pansy to piss off. It made me angry I thought she didn't deserve Morrigan. That Mor was good, better than Pansy would ever be.

ERNIE: Mor was happy. I asked if her if Pansy made her happy. She said yes. Very simple answer.

PANSY: She was writing love songs about me.

'The sun will never shine brighter than you do' yup that's about me. I didn't think any word was true but it still felt nice.

Keeping her a secret was easier than I thought. No one really cared when two girls hung out all the time.

BLAISE: Mor and Pansy being friends meant we got into all the shows.

THEODORE: Pansy never wanted to set me up with Mor.

PANSY: we'd close the blinds when we'd make out and such so no one could see.

It was our private world. I didn't want someone to see and ruin everything.

Morrigan didn't mind. She did it to make me happy. She was the type of person who cared more about others than she did herself.

She didn't even care about herself at all. The drugs and drinking was something else. Their entire band did it. I wasn't going to control what she did so I didn't say anything.

But sometimes she'd be so high I didn't want to see her.

That's usually when they made their music.

SCOTT: Drug and sex we're our thing. 'Black Opium' drug use is literally in our name.

JAMES: We took care of each other though, we wouldn't let each other choke or do something we'd regret sober. We were a family. We looked out for each other.

PANSY: I just made her promise to be sober when she was with me. And she agreed. Again anything I'd ask she would do.

And no I wasn't abusing my power. I hardly ever asked anything of her.

Then they released 'Ecstasy or you'

JAMES: I co-wrote that and in the song we chose drugs. 'Being in love or being invincible/ I'll choose ecstasy over you/ I'm a rockstar it's in my blood/ please don't ask ecstasy or you'

PANSY: Sure it was a good song. Real up beat had everyone dancing and taking drugs.

I don't think James liked me much. I didn't like how he was Morrigans best friend. But that song sold. And she looked so happy when she was singing it.

ERNIE: We fucking rocked.

PANSY: The night the death eaters invaded Hogwarts I left with them. I hexed Ginny Weasley as well cutting her across the face.

I was one of them. I convinced myself that I belonged in their ranks. That at least there I had a place.

I wrote letters to Morrigan and sometimes she'd send me polaroids of her tits and it'd be so random I'd make me laugh as I stored the pictures.

I missed her.

I did until my parents spoke about her.

"That mudblood, I hope the dark lord kills her, their music is vulgar and James and Ernie are purebloods they need to start acting like it"

He called her that word. And for the first time it really hit me that Morrigan was a Muggle born. She wasn't from my world.

"Did you listen to their music?" Her father asked.

"Of course not" that lie cut me so deep I cried the entire night. And I knew what I had to do.

I had to remember who I was and what duty i had to the pureblood society.

People don't understand how our side of the war was.

And it's simple. We'd get tortured for mistakes, beat and abused for any errors so you learn how to not mess up.

You learn how to use the killing curse on your first try.

I couldn't let Morrigan see those scars across my body.