Lies You Tell (DE)

53.

" You don't never be up this early," Joseph said.

Grace jumped turning her head quickly. " You scared me," She said in a raised whisper, placing her free hand over her chest. " I couldn't sleep,"

Joseph was usually the early bird and always awake before the sun rose where as Grace usually slept in until noon but she'd had a hard time sleeping last night. Even though this was home, it felt unfamiliar to Grace now and she kept waking up periodically through out the night. Not being able to go back to sleep after the last time, she decided to get up and make some coffee.

The toasty scent of roasted coffee beans filled Joseph's nose as he got closer. The kitchen was dark, the only source of light coming from the stove light that Grace had turned on.

" Do you want some?" She asked politely watching as he stretched, rubbing his bare tattooed chest.

" Yea, make me some,"

Grace poured him some into a matte black mug and added some coffee creamer. " Why are you up so early?" She asked, handing the hot cup to him, grabbing hers off the counter.

They both leaned up against opposite counters facing one another. He took a sip of his and nodded to the large floor to ceiling windows in the living room behind him that gave the perfect view of the New York skyline. " I like watching the sun rise. You want to watch it wit me?" He asked.

She nodded following him into the living room, taking a seat by him on the plush deep seat grey sectional. Joseph pulled her small feet onto his lap, squeezing them in his free hand. Grace stared at herself in the distant reflection of the giant TV mounted on the wall. Joseph studied the disturbed look on her face as she looked at herself. She looked as if she had a lot on her mind. " What you thinkin about?" He asked.

She blinked a few times, looking at him with a longing look, shrugging. The one thing that didn't return with Grace waking up, was her bubbly, vibrant personality. It seemed as if she was stuck in her own head a lot lately, quiet and timid.

" I'm having a hard time," She admitted.

Joseph searched her eyes in the dim light of the living room as the sun began to finally peak up, trading places with the cool glow of the moon.

" My mind just feels so empty all the time and it's so frustrating. I literally can't even think of how to describe how I feel. Its just nothingness and I'm so frustrated Joseph. I couldn't even remember my own nephews name," She said in defeat. " Little things are coming back here and there but it's not enough. I'm not happy.. I feel like I'm missing all the memories that meant the most to me and made me who I am,"

Joseph had never seen Grace truly sad like this before ever and it saddened him to see her like that, especially because he couldn't relate to how she was feeling. This was one of those things that nobody would be able to understand unless they felt it themselves.

" And I feel bad for you. I know you love me so much but I haven't been reciprocating that back to you because I don't feel like myself. I feel like a stranger in my own body." She expressed with tearful eyes.

He rubbed her feet trying to find the right words to say. She chewed her lip, searching his face for a response.

" Don't feel bad for me, I know you love me that's why I ain't trippin. This shit gone take time, everything not gone come back over night," He said as he used his thumb to rub circular motions into the bottom of her foot with his free hand. " Loyalty everything to me, I won't leave my people behind because of a hard time. Imma stick this shit out wit you because I love you. Love is patient,"