Lies You Tell (DE)

59.

Joseph watched as the sun began to peak up from the horizon through the plane window as their private jet coasted through the sky. It was crazy to think how they were flying through the sky at 547 mph but it felt like they were barely moving as fluffy pillowy white clouds cascaded by. Joseph and Grace were half way into their twelve hour flight to Dubai, Grace sound asleep on Joseph's chest as they lounged on the fold out seats that turn into a bed for long trips.

The only thing Joseph had been able to do since they left was blink. His body was physically tired but he couldn't get his mind to shut off for the life of him. The only comfort he found was being under Grace. Joseph had never experienced the feeling of remorse before, and he didn't understand why he was feeling it. The feeling was gut wrenching, sickening, and anxiety inducing. It made Joseph want to shout and pull his own hair out. He felt as if he were going crazy mentally.

Unique deserved what Joseph did to him though, he hurt the woman he loved more than life itself— it had to be done. Joseph couldn't get the image of the little boy out of his mind because all he saw when he thought of the boy was himself at that age, except his parents murderers spared him. Joseph didn't want to kill the boy, he was still innocent and pure and had yet to see the worlds true colors but he would never be the same again after watching Joseph do what he did. In Joseph's mind he was doing the boy a favor and saving him from a life of pain and ache so he didn't end up like Joseph did— deranged and detached from life.

Joseph never got a proper chance at life, he often thought about what it would be like if he did— what it would feel like to be normal. Joseph felt like a prisoner in his own head, held captive by his own thoughts— all the heinous things he's done and all the people he's hurt. Deep inside Joseph was still that traumatized six year old boy. He never recovered from watching his parents get murdered in cold blood and in turn Joseph had been inflicting that pain back on everyone that crossed his path.

Joseph had been living like this for so long he'd adapted to being that way, adapted to being deranged, adapted to living a double life. He was like a chameleon, able to flip his different personalities on and off like a switch, it was terrifying.

Grace stirred in her sleep, readjusting to a more comfortable position on Joseph's hard chest. Joseph broke his fixed gaze from outside down at her and watched her sleep— something he did often. She slept so peacefully, like angel. It was calming for him to watch. Her beautifully sculpted face relaxed and her full soft lips parted in a pout as she breathed through her mouth— her hair frizzy and in her face. Grace was Joseph's proof that there was good in the world. He never understood how someone so pure could love someone like him, but then again, she only loved what he showed her.

Joseph was fearful if Grace ever saw that side of him, fearful if she ever learned his dark truth. She was like the air he breathed, he wouldn't know what to do without her. His world just might stop spinning.

Joseph carefully brushed some of her long baby hairs from her face. He picked up her left hand, holding it in his and rubbing his thumb along where she'd gotten his name permanently inked on her ring finger— a tribute of her love for him. Joseph thought of Grace as his soulmate. He never knew he was capable to feel the way he felt for Grace, to show such love, compassion and trust in somebody. Marriage had been on his mind a lot lately. She had to be sworn to be his forever under the eyes of the lord.

Grace felt Joseph rubbing her hand and slowly opened her eyes looking up at him. " What time is it?" She asked softly, stretching her arms and legs.

" Ion know but we almost there. I ain't mean to wake you up,"

" It's okay," Grace said, slowly sitting up next to him and pulling the knit blanket with her. " Did you sleep?"

Joseph shook his head no. " I was watching you sleep,"