Chapter 21: such cruel fate

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He closed the door shut, but it wasn't the loud banging of the door being shut that deafened his ears nor that lingered in his head. But it was his cries and screams. Especially, that one last time he screamed for his name.

It was so loud, so emotional that his heart of glass, shattered at the painful sound. He stayed there, releasing all the tears that he held on as he looked at his face for the last time – remembering every line and curve that builds up such a beautiful masterpiece. He etched them in his mind, but somehow his broken heart etched them better than his mind; his broken heart that bled at the sight of him begging for his love that he could have given but chose not to.

He wanted to go back at the room, pick him up, cover him with his clothes and hug him. Tell him that he didn't mean the things he'd said, kiss him, and tell him 'I love you' because he loves him...he loves him more than anything in his life – more than his life.

But he won't because going back would make everything harder for them to let go, to move forward and go on. God, he felt like a bastard that didn't deserve his love. Though, they were young. So young, god, they haven't even graduated. He was living off the allowance his mother and father gives him but it wasn't enough – not when they both have dreams and plans of marrying each other.

Jimin's family wasn't rich, and Jungkook was taking care of his grandmother. And this offer...this offer was Jimin's dreams. It was nailing two birds with one stone – he would have a shot at living his dreams and make a living out of it. Then, he can finally give Jungkook a better life – even his grandmother.

Jimin had to break off things especially knowing what he was about to enter. He was about to enter the music industry, where it songs were important as well as being sellable in the target market. He knew where boy groups stand in this matter and what the company requires, he left his past behind in reaching for his own future.

It didn't help Jimin with the fact that his father was an overseas worker – he chose to work out of the country while his mother stayed in Korea. The first few years were okay, but as it moved on, his father had to continuously work for them making most of his father time being away from them rather than with them. And he didn't want that, didn't want to lose time for the person he loves the most. He could see how his mother suffered the loneliness and longing for his father who would go home just once a year or on special occasions and sometimes, he doesn't go home in a year. But his mother bore with all of it, it was for them anyway.

But knowing how a person so close suffered from it, he didn't want Jungkook to do that. And maybe, the moment Jungkook starts crying on the other line because he misses him; Jimin would get onto the nearest flight back to Korea and abandon all his dreams.

He left, but he wanted Jungkook to know that he left him with his heart.

His broken pieces of a heart that he wishes Jungkook would fix when the right time comes.

I love you, baby. I love you so much, this is all for you, for us.

He massaged his temples as his hands slowly crept to cover his eyes before he started to break down. He leaned against the wall as his back slid down against it, just like how his tears fell from his eyes.

He fell asleep hushing Jungkook against his chest, he could feel Jungkook's naked body against his own, and god he love the feeling of it. He missed it so much. He hugged him tightly, he knew he had hugged Jungkook a few times since they've met again but this time it was different because he finally had the chance to savour the feeling of hugging him. This time, he wasn't desperate or begging. He was just in love.

He leaned down on Jungkook, planting a chaste kiss on Jungkook's forehead as his hands softly grazed his cheeks. He didn't know why he cried, but he thought he might've been too rough though Jungkook asked for it and he had obliged, wanted Jungkook to be sated with the night – part of him wanted Jungkook to remember that it was him that could give him what he needed, but there's also part of him that just want to made love to Jungkook, wanted to feel him – his body and heart, all of him just for Jungkook.

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