Blood and Flowers

Smile

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"Can you even read his mind? See that kid's lost fantasy?
Can you even find the one who dyed his red heart to black? Hey who could it be? Hey someone tell me!"
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"Who broke your heart?" demanded Gakushu.

Karma didn't know how this conversation had started. They were on a fine topic before. Now it was getting oddly personal. Like always.

"What does it fucking matter?" he asked, laughing a little hysterically. "I'm going to die."

"You're not! I won't let you!"

He was losing it with the boy. Couldn't he just be left alone for a second? "Let's hang out" always turned into "Let's hang out so we can talk about things you don't want to talk about."

"And how will you save me then? Huh? Cause I'd love to know!"

"I'll find a way—"

"Just give it up! It won't work. It would probably end better if I just killed myself."

"Why would you do that?" asked Gakushu quietly.

"Can't you see that I don't belong in this world? That I don't want to be here? Nothing will fix that... Can't you be one of those people who believe me when I say I'm ok? Who decide to be blind to the fact that I'm not? Who will just give up on me when I tell them to?"

"But your parents will be sad, the E-Class will be sad, Korosensei will be sad, I'll be sad, why don't you see that?"

Karma's expression contorted into a look of anger. Pure, burning anger. "My parents don't care, and the E-Class wouldn't notice if I was gone. Korosensei is the only one who actually showed that he cared about me. How can you say you care about me when you hate me? And even if you did care, you'd let me die. You'd let the pain end," he spat.

"What I feel about you is complicated, alright? But I know that there's probably some part of you that's afraid to die," he said gently. "That is afraid to leave. And I know that you're not going to admit it, but I'm going to help. I'm not going to leave you and let you die, ok? Or if you do die, you won't be alone."

"How can you be so nice after I... Please just stop."

"Akabane, it's ok," assured Gakushu. "I shouldn't have interrogated you, I thought you were ready to tell me, but I should have waited for you to tell me on your own time. I know all of this is hard for you, just...know I'm here for you to talk to."

"Sometimes I wonder how you have never ending patience but at the same time you're short tempered," muttered Karma.

[•-•]
Karma had thought about this for a while. What would happen when the time came that he had to tell Gakushu why he had this disease? Who hadn't returned his feelings? He could lie that it was a celebrity or someone who moved away and he lost all ways contact with. But Gakushu knew him better than that. He would obviously see through it.

He kind of wanted to tell the strawberry blonde. To get it over with. But he didn't want to lose the one person who cared about him. The one person trying to help him.

He could at least savor the time while he had it.

He wished it would never run out...