Blood and Flowers

What to do?

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"Her behavior seems insane, cause we both know you might overdose from trying to kill the pain."
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Karma had decided to give the decision to ask his parents about the surgery a few weeks' time. Those weeks had almost passed. Just two more days. Then he would know what was best. It seemed that the time that the redhead wanted to choose came sooner than he though.

"I can't do this," said Karma as he stared into the mirror. Tears were rolling down his cheeks and he was breathing hard. "God I can't do it." His hands that were gripping the sink were turning white.

The throwing up the blood the flowers was all too much and the most recent meal he had usually come after. Then he had stopped eating anything but snacks or small meals. They were generally easier to keep down.

"Fuck, how do people even survive this?"

Anger bubbled up inside Karma. Anger at himself. He hadn't know that one-sided love was this painful. He would have thought about that before rejecting that girl he once knew. Don't get him wrong, she was beautiful, it wasn't anything about her looks, for even if she hadn't been as beautiful he still would have rejected her. But she wasn't the one he loved. It had always been Gakushu. That was the reason he couldn't return her love.

But the least he could do was let her down slowly. He hadn't even responded with very many words. All he told her was, "I don't like you the same way you like me." And that was it. She didn't talk to the redhead again, he didn't talk to her. They were done with each other.

Now that he thought about it, he didn't stay to see her reaction. He turned and walked away right after his heart shattering words. But he was sure that she had been shocked at how cold he had been, that she did not take what he said well, that she had acquired the Hanahaki Disease. She hadn't been in class for a while after that. What if she had died?

Karma's fist moved on it's own and punched the mirror before he could realize the shards had gone flying. They cut Karma's face and his arms, and his knuckles were a mess of blood, tiny shards of the reflective object were lodged into his flesh.

Damn, now he would have to buy a new mirror so the maids didn't notice it was missing. They were the ones that cleaned the house, including the redhead's bathroom. Many times he had insisted he could do it himself. Many times that had done it for him anyway. That was mostly the only time he saw them, though not because they didn't like him. Because they weren't allowed to go to his room unless instructed by Karma's parents. Whenever they were there though they talked to him.

But that was only ever once every two to three weeks, as they sometimes cleaned while he was at school. And after the incident where he was put in the E-Class because of his violent nature, they had always somewhat avoided him. They were scared he would do something to them. And he was all alone. Like he had always been.

[•-•]
Gakushu groaned in frustration and slammed his fist onto his desk. Nothing was working. Maybe he would just straight up tell Karma that he liked him. Or write it on a piece of paper, give it to him, and leave. Leave quickly. But that would be a sad way to confess his love for the boy.

Imagine the future. If someone asked how they came to be Karma would tell  them, "This idiot gave me a piece of paper and ran away." Not very interesting, and, for the strawberry blonde, very embarrassing.

Now that he thought of it, he wanted to do something memorable. Something that would always be in Karma's heart wherever he went, something he'd never forget, something special.

After all, that's what the redhead deserved. That and more. The whole world.

[•-•]
He could ask for the surgery, or he could just, you know, off himself, depart from the game of life. Conveniently, his parents took pills for God knows what. If he stole them and overdosed it wouldn't matter what his parents did to him after that because he was going to be dead. The thing was that nobody knew exactly what happened after death.

What if he was reentered into a different universe where he did live? Or one where he didn't overdose in the first place? Then what would happen?

That was what he feared. That after he died he would have to face something worse, something that would make him regret suicide. How would he be able to keep going though? How would no one notice? Surely they'd see if someone was puking up flowers and blood in the bathroom or probably the bushes. Then they'd tell everyone.

They'd think so lowly of him. He was Akabane Karma, the sadist, the best at everything.

The best? He was so far from that. Yet they all had such high expectations for him.

Sure he could run the fastest, sure he could beat everyone in the class at hand-to-hand combat, sure he could come up with a comeback to anything, sure he excelled in most of the subjects. But he was still human. He still made mistakes, he couldn't be good at everything, better than everyone at everything.

It was only part of life.

A part that he hated. If he were perfect then he would be sure that no one could find out he was dying because of flowers. If he were the child his parents had wanted.

[•-•]
Karma had woken up and ran to the bathroom, throwing up into the toilet. He rested his head on the seat of the toilet. Maybe he could just stay like this for a while. His eyelids began to close. He hadn't slept much last night, less than an hour at least.

"Maybe this isn't so bad..." he said softly. Then he heard a ringing sound. "Fuck, school!"

The redhead ran to get his phone only to find that it was not Nagisa calling him, it was his mother. He forgot. Today was Saturday.

He pressed the button to decline the call and went back to bed. His phone rang again. This time he put it on silent. Then there was a knock on his door.

"What do you want?" he asked in an annoyed tone of voice.

"Get up! You have to come meet someone!" said his mother. "Don't be lazy!"

"I never agreed to meet someone!" yelled Karma.

"I don't care, get up now or I'll drag you down the stairs."

"Fine!" Karma got up, mumbling curses that were directed at his mother. "Who is it?" he asked opening his door.

His mother had already gone. There were three choices. One, he could stay here in his room and go back to sleep. Two, he could go so his mother would stop pestering him. And three, he could jump out the window.

Three seemed like the best idea, but he would likely break a leg or an arm or both. He wouldn't want to have to go to the hospital, it would be a pain and the ride in the ambulance would cost money. It would also be harder to his the fact that he had the Hanahaki Disease. That was the main reason.

Guess I'm going to meet whoever wants to see me, sighed Karma. He felt defeated.

Word count 1275

Heyyy, congrats if you got this far! How are you liking it? I'm trying to update daily cause it's winter break. Have a good day or night ❤️❤️ also Merry early or late Christmas (it's Christmas eve for me)