Wonder (Levi×reader)

Sixteen

It was an understatement to say I looked like shit the next day. I didn't sleep at all, my heart hurt too much. I looked at myself as I finished getting dressed, I had the day off since I was injured and Eren's trial wasn't until tomorrow. My skin was pale, big dark bags under my eyes. My eyes were bloodshot and my hair was all over the place, but I didn't care. I was going to the mess hall for breakfast then going straight to the fields by myself. I sighed before leaving my room and making my way to the hall, my left hand bandaged just like my shoulder. My white shirt rubbing off of it as my blue skirt blew in the wind.

I opened the door to the hall, grabbed my tray of food and tucked myself away into the corner, trying to avoid everyone. I swirled my spoon around in my porridge, even after not eating dinner last night I wasn't hungry. I sighed staring at the soup like substance in front of me. I must look so pathetic right now, I just hope none of the kids or squad see me. " Y/N! There you are!", my head shot up just as Ouro wrapped his arms around me, squeezing my broken shoulder, making me let out a painful yelp.

" Ouro you idiot! She broke her shoulder!" Petra scolded him, I sighed and rubbed my head as my squad sat in front of me. " You disappeared last night before we could ask you how you were" Eld spoke up. " I wasn't hungry last night, but I'm fine I promise" " Don't lie to us, you look so sick". Gunther grabbed my face, forcing me to face him. " You look so pale, your eyes look so irritated". I pulled my face from his grip and turned away " I'm fine" " You idiots are making too much noise"....no not now. " Sorry captian, we're just worried about Y/n. She's so pale and sickly looking". I could sense Levi was looking at me, but I kept my face hidden in my arms. I didn't want him to see me like this, not when my heart is still freshly broken.

" If she feels ill she can bring herself to the infirmary, for now I believe I told you sorry lot to clean" " Yes sir!" They all saluted before running off. Finally they were gone, " Y/n!" I heard Armins sweet voice, I couldn't let him see me so heart broken again. I jumped up and walked away with my head down, ignoring my brothers calls. I was too lost in my own thoughts to realise I was about to walk into Levi, " I'm sorry" I said looking up at the man. Our eyes making contact, not quick enough where I could duck away and not have him notice, but long enough for him to get a good look at my face and to look worried.

I ran out of the mess hall and straight to the stables. I jumped on my horse and went straight out the gates, running as fast as I could to my favourite field to be alone. After a ten minute ride, I slowly came to a stop before jumping off my black mares back and letting it wonder around to eat grass. I sat down in the field, I closed my bright eyes and slowly took a deep breath in. My eyes opened as I released my breath, looking around at the early morning sky. I'm stressing myself out, I don't know why I'm surprised anymore. Nobody ever stays in my life for long, not my parents....my grandparents...Furan...and now Levi. I don't even want to think of losing Armin.

I rubbed my eye with the back of my sleeve, I'm basically the one who ended it with Levi. I was the one who acted like an idiot and ruined my second chance at love, I have nobody to blame but myself. Yet I still miss him as if he's been gone for years. Why was I so stupid? Why did I have to snap at him for something so small? I'm getting too overprotective with them three when I shouldn't be. I smiled when my mare rubbed its nose against my cheek, she must know I'm upset. She lied down behind me, wrapping her neck around and laying her head on my lap while I leaned against her body. We stayed just like that for a while, I pet her head and closed my eyes before falling asleep just seconds later.

" Hey!" I jumped awake seeing Erwin in front of me with a worried look. " Erwin? What are you doing out here?" I asked slowly, still foggy from being rudely awakened. " Me? What are you doing sleeping out here? You've been gone for hours Y/n, we've all been worried sick". Erwin helped me sit up " What? I left just after breakfast" " It's almost time for dinner" " What? Already? I've been asleep that long". " Honestly Y/n, what are we to do with you?" He sighed, " Come, you must be starving". At the mention of food I held my stomach tight, " No, I'm not hungry" "You haven't eaten since yesterday morning" " How-" " You are heartbroken so I've been watching you. You need to eat" " I told you I'm not hungry".

Erwin sighed " I'm not having this conversation with you in the middle of a field. We're going back to my office and we're having a talk". We both rode our horses back to HQ, settling them in bed before Erwin announced he had found me. I followed Erwin to his office, sitting in a small chair as he stared at me. " Y/n I know your upset about Levi, but you can't stop eating. Your body needs food to survive" " Erwin, I'm not a child. I'll eat when I'm hungry" " Y/n" He sighed. " Erwin can we not make a big deal out of this? So what if I missed a meal or two? Like you said I'm heartbroken, different people deal with things their own way. Please can we not make this a huge thing? I'll be eating again properly in no time, I promise" " You better keep that promise, if not I'll bring your captain into this".