Care For Me ✔️

14

L I L Y

The week passes by in a smooth blur.

After our parents returned home from their work trip, Jack went straight back to his old, mind boggling ways; ignoring my existence, or watching our father take his frustration out on me, using me as his life size punching bag.

Despite it all, my gratitude towards Jack remained the same. He still gave me food, a comfortable place to sleep, let me watch television... all in all, he let me be a normal almost teenager.

Even if it was only for one night, it's more than I've ever had before.

Sleeping in Jack's bed that night, my body cuddled up in the large fluffy sheets, with my head resting on a pillow that could've been made of clouds by how much I sank into it— I couldn't help but wish for more, wish that it wasn't a one off, wish that this wasn't the life I was born into.

The more I thought of it, the more I couldn't help but wonder: will life ever get better? Will I ever be able to live life as a normal kid, a normal preteen. Will I ever be able to actually live instead of spending day by day struggling to survive.

Will my parents ever stop hurting me and start loving me instead? Will punches soon turn to hugs and spiteful words morph to declarations of care?

I doubt that day will ever come. Despite how much I hope for it, I know deep in the marrow of my bones, behind the fractured ribs that protect my already broken heart that nothing will change. They'll never want me, let alone love me.

This is my life, these are the cards I've been dealt and there's nothing I can do to change that.

There is something, my subconscious screams. Tell someone and it'll all be over.

Would it though? Statistics show that most foster kids are beaten too. They leave one horrible, terror filled household only to be met with yet another. It's a never ending cycle, I'll forever be stuck on this track.

Even if that wasn't the case, if I told someone there's no guarantee that anything would come of it. I have no proof. Nothing happens beyond these four walls. It would be my word against theirs. Three against one because I doubt Jack would ever go against them.

And then, say it did go my way, that they believe me. I would still have to be questioned, I'd have to relive it all, my parents would be investigated, Jack would be questioned. And all it takes is one slip, one mistake, one wrong memory, and I'm back in their care. Back in the clutches.

They'd know I'd spoke up.

And then...

I'd be dead.

_

Silver and blue streamers and balloons litter the school corridors.

Everyone's mood is upbeat and brimming with excitement for tonight's football game. First game of the season I'm sure I'd overheard someone say, though I could be wrong, I know nothing about football to be sure.

Too lost in admiring the array of different decorations, I don't hear Emilio speaking. It only registers that I've unintentionally ignored him when his hand waves in front of my eyes.