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trigger warning: violence, blood, panic attacks.

L I L Y

It's been a few days since the scene in the parking lot, and my brother has done his best to avoid me ever since.

I've tried to talk to him about it, get him to open up to me and explain everything like he promised he would. But every time I've tried to corner him; in the car, the parking lot, school corridors, he just ignores me and walks away, eyebrows furrowed, lips pursed like he's trying his hardest not to let anything slip.

I see my brother in a different light now. It's still dim, not bright like sunshine in the in the way Emilio, Leo and our friends to light me up, but the darkness that used to surround him has slowly faded away.

I was trying to protect you, those words ring in my ears. I still don't know what he meant by that, and I won't know until he spills whatever secrets he's been keeping from me over the years.

Anger lingers because of his silence, streaming through my veins like searing fire. I don't want to be mad at him, I feel like I shouldn't be, but I can't help it.

The last thing I want to do is push him, but these secrets don't just affect him, they affect me too. And I deserve the truth, I deserve to know why he treated me the way that he did, why he ignored me, why he's claiming he protected me when all I ever saw was his shadow in the corner of the room as another bruise painted my skin.

And I'll find out, whether he's ready or not, it's my truth too.

It's Friday and Leo and I are in our shared math class now. The teacher hasn't been mean to me like he was the first time I entered his classroom, thankfully. I think he was just having an off day, and that's okay, we al have days like that.

"You want to start the project at my house after school?" Leo asks, referring to the paired project our teacher announced last week.

"Yeah," I nod slowly, gears running around in my head. My parents are out of town tonight and they shouldn't be home till late tomorrow night, meaning I don't have to worry about their punishments as long as I'm not stupid like I was with the football game. "I'll just need to check with Jack."

"Cool."

When class ends, Leo and I pack up our belongings and exit the class, muttering a small goodbye to our teacher. We meet the rest of our friends in the hallway since we all have the same next class: music.

I'd say music is my favourite subject so far. It's like an escape from reality, lost in the different sounds and songs. A release from everything else going on in my messed up life. I can listen to the music and everything else just fades away.

Mr Norris, our music teacher, agrees to let us work in the practice room as he doesn't have much written work planned for todays lesson.

"Just get comfortable with your instruments, we're going to have solo performances soon and I want everyone to feel confident." He says.

Atlas and Luke smirk since they already radiate confidence when it comes to performing, while the rest of us all nod as we pass him, heading straight for the practice room. Kaden and Killian join us too, and I'm glad for that.

I've grown closer to the twins over the past few weeks. They always make the effort to speak to me, asking me about my day, complimenting my triangle skills, offering help if I need any. It's gotten to the point that I see them as friends rather than just Leo's brothers.

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