Care For Me ✔️

E I G H T Y - S E V E N

LILY

Do you ever get days where you feel sad for literally no reason? Like... one minute you're smiling, you feel happy, like nothing could dampen your mood and the next, everything just crashes down in your mind.

An overwhelming dark cloud appears and there's nothing you can do to shake off the feeling? The urge to cry becomes harder and harder to shake and the next thing you know tears are streaming down your cheeks before you can stop them. The lump in your throat becomes so painful that you can no longer suppress your sobs?

That's how I'm feeling—

I'm sat here on my bed staring at my blurry yellow bedspread as I stroke Charlie's — now dampened golden fur. My tears keep falling, a wash of numbness is taking over me.

I don't understand what's caused this? I'm happy, I've got everything I've ever wished for... so why am I sad?

Why am I feeling like this?

It came from no where, one minute I'm laying with Charlie, listening to music and the next, I'm sobbing. Everything is just becoming so overwhelming, my life has changed drastically in the last few months. Don't misunderstand me though — I'm glad for these changes, truly, I am. I've never felt so cared for in my thirteen years of life.

But... I can't stop crying... why can't I stop?

"Hey Lil—" Leo's voice hits my ears before he abruptly halts in his words. I hear his footsteps hitting the carpet as he rushes toward me, next, I feel his hand rubbing soothing circles on my back. "Do you wanna talk?" He asks me, his voice quiet and soothing.

Thank god he didn't ask if I was okay, I would've cried harder at that.

A small whimper leaves my mouth, causing Charlie to jump in fright, "I-I don't even know why I'm crying." I choke.

"It's okay to cry Lil," Leo's hand brushes through my curls, "Sometimes you just need to cry, there doesn't have to be a reason."

I bury my face in the crook of Leo's neck, his body tensed at my touch, if I hadn't been in such a state I'd have probably questioned him on it. Leo takes a deep breath before his muscles relax and he wraps an arm around me, pulling me closer to him.

After I've calmed myself down, I begin to speak, "So much has changed recently, I think... I think I'm just a bit overwhelmed by it all." My words slightly muffled due to the fabric of Leo's sweatshirt.

I can feel Leo's head bob at my words, "That's understandable, you've been through a lot."

"I don't understand why I feel so sad all of a sudden." I mumble, inhaling a gulp of air. "I have everything I've ever wished for, I have no reason to be sad."

Leo chuckles softly at my words, well done Lily— tell your brother who's suffering with depression that you don't know why your sad. "Sorry Le, that was insensitive of me to say."

I can feel Leo shake his head, his arms holding me tighter than before. "No it wasn't. I completely understand what your saying Lil."

"I'm not depressed though... so why?"

"You don't have to be depressed to be having a bad day, you're human Lily, we all have a bad day every now and then, and that's okay."