TW: Mention of suicide
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I lay in bed, not having a single clue what to do with myself, when i get a knock on my door.
"Go away." I say groggily, holding my bedsheets closer to my face. The knocking persists, "Go AWAY Cyrus."
He walks into my bedroom anyways. His eyes are puffy and red. I can tell he's been crying. He's wearing the same clothes he's been wearing since Tuesday. Its Saturday.
"God, I told you to go away. Why don't you listen?"
He sits at my desk and faces me, "Your room looks awful."
"Yeah well you can't really keep up with things when your brother dies now can you?" I snap back, but regret it, "Im sorry. Im just not in the right frame of mind."
"I understand." he says, "Its hard losing someone you love. Especially when you've spent all of your life with them."
I scoff, "Ya' don't say."
He's silent, but only for a moment, "Do you wanna do something? Y'know, like- get out of the house?"
I shake my head, barely, "No. Everywhere I go i'm going to be reminded of him."
"Oh come on, it's not that bad-"
"YOU'RE NOT THE ONE WHO FOUND HIM CYRUS. I WAS. I SAW HIM. I SAW HIS LIMP BODY LAYING THERE ON THE FLOOR. I WAS THE ONE THAT FOUND OUT HE DIDN'T HAVE A PULSE. I WAS THE FIRST ONE TO FIND OUT THAT HE KILLED HIMSELF." I yell, "DO YOU KNOW WHAT DAMAGE THAT DOES TO A PERSON?"
His face was more red than before, and he was crying. I'd never seen Cyrus cry until he found out that Liam committed suicide. It was the worst day of both or our lives.
My parents gave me and my brother up when he 10 and I was 2. Im 14 now. Once he turned 18, he gained custody of me and we lived with each other from that point on. Now I live with Cyrus.
"Im sorry El." his voice was shaky and hard to understand, "You should never have to go through that, ever."
"Eleanor," I correct him, "Only Liam called me El."
He lets out a light sob. Just hearing his name broke him to pieces, "Do you want anything to eat or drink?" he changes the subject to pull himself together.
"No. I just lost my brother i don't have an appetite."
"You know you're not the only one who's hurting from this right? You don't know what its like to lose someone who you think you're going to spend the rest of your life with, Eleanor. He was my soulmate."
I scoff, "What do you mean I don't know what it's like? I lost my fucking brother. He was the ONLY person I have EVER loved in my entire life and now he's gone. So don't you EVER say that i don't know what it feels like." I say furiously, "Sure, I wasn't in love with him but it still feels like a bullet going straight through my worthless heart."
He sniffles, "Eleanor you're not worthless."
"No but that's how I feel." I say. "So if you'll please." I sit up and point at the door, motioning for him to get out.
He stands up and leaves, crying more than when he came in. I felt awful for yelling at him, but nothing compared to the feeling of losing my everything.
Me and Cy got along well before it happened. In fact, we had such a good relationship I felt like i didn't need any other friends to be satisfied. But now things have changed. Now I only had myself.
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Word count: 614
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Teen Fiction(my biggest goal is to make you cry) 14 year old Eleanor never would've thought that her big brother would commit suicide, leaving her and his (ex) boyfriend, Cyrus, in terrible sorrow. After months of recovering from a wound they never thought wou...
