Feeling Good

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I'm so happy for her.

"So... it went well?"

She smiles at me before answering.

"I think it did."

I reach out and touch her shoulder.

"That's great. I'm happy for you."

She looks down at her hands as I speak.

"Yeah..."

She doesn't seem that happy.


"What is it?"

Faith takes a deep breath.

"I just... I don't know how to feel."

Why not?


"What do you mean?"

"I didn't expect it to go so well."

"Isn't it better that it didn't?"

"Yes but... it's also really weird."

I let my hand slip down off her shoulder and to the couch.

"How?"

She doesn't respond right away.

"I guess... I've gotten so used to things going wrong that, I figured this would too. I wasn't planning on it going right. Or at least not badly anyway."

I get it.


"So you're not sure how to handle it."

My fellow slayer returns her focus to me.

"Basically, yeah..."

I take a deep breath.

"I don't really have much experience with it either. But what little I do know, is that you have to embrace the happy moments where you can. Not try to over analyze it. Enjoy it."

"He wants to see me."

That has me sitting back at the suggestion.

I should probably be non-committal about this. I don't want to push her.


"Do you want to see him?"

Faith leans back on the couch and looks forward, obviously considering the question.

"Maybe?"

"Is it because you don't know what he knows?"

"Sorta, but..."

She doesn't finish the thought. I turn to her and put my hand on hers, which makes her look at me.

"Tell me."

"What do I do if everything works out? What if I see him and we talk and everything's fine?"

I take a deep breath.

"Just, do what we do."

That makes her give me a curious look.

"What do you mean?"

"You and I are still figuring things out. After everything that's happened, we don't really know what to do with each other. We're just taking it one day at a time. Do that with your dad."

She gets more confused.

"Not sure you and I are the best model for stable relationship building. The amount of times we tried to kill each other..."

"That's my point Faith. We've got more than enough reasons to hate each other. To turn our backs on each other and never speak again. But that's not what happened. We found a way to move past it. Except we aren't doing it all at once."

"So you're saying just take it slow?"

I shrug at her question.

"What else can you do?"

She smiles back.

"Thanks B."

Her face turns serious and I just know something else is bothering her.

"Would you... come with me?"

Come with her?


"Where?"

"To see my dad. If I end up going, anyway."

Like she even has to ask.


"Of course, if you want me there, I'll be there."

Again she smiles, then she leans in and puts her arms around me, giving me a hug.

"Thank you so much B."

"Anytime F."

We hold each other, feeling the comfort of our bodies pressed against us.

This feels so good.


After a long while, we pull back part way, our eyes meeting and the intensity of the moment is obvious.

I have no idea what is going on right now, but it's probably a bad idea.


I pull back even more, breaking the feeling. Faith throws her thumb back towards the kitchen as she speaks.

"I'm... I'm gonna go get something to eat. You want anything?"

I do my best to smile back.

"No, I'm good, thanks though."

She gets up from the couch, heading for her destination.

"No problem."

What the heck was that?


I sit back as she leaves the room.

It felt like we just had a moment. The kind of moment we haven't had in a long time. There was that one time after my mom died where we made out, but other than that it's been forever. I definitely thought that was a moment though. Something about it feels different from the kinds of moments we've had in the past. Those moments were intense. Almost like a force of nature was pulling us together.

What happened just now really isn't like that at all. I didn't feel that kind of pull to her, but I did feel something. I just don't know what it was. Maybe it wasn't anything. I could've just been imagining it. We just had a pretty intense conversation and the whole thing made us feel closer to each other. That makes a lot of sense.

I'm sure that's all it was.

I'm sure that's all it was

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