Spidermen group chat

Seal the deal

______. _______. Spider-bros

Peter #1: you guys there?

Peter #2: yes

Peter #3: Peter 3 is busy, please leave a message by the phone

Peter #1: please, it's urgent!

Peter #2: I can't believe he's another version of me...

Peter #1: it's about me and Mj!

Peter #3: I'm listening 😏

Peter #2: this isn't gonna end well for either of us

Peter #3: shhhh let the kid share his relationship problems

Peter #1: there's no problem..

Peter #3: if that were true you'd be with her instead of messaging us

Peter #2: he's not wrong

Peter #1: okay but do you promise not to laugh or make fun of me

Peter #2: I promise

Peter #3: laughter is a natural impulse. How would I know if I can control myself?

Peter #2: we're texting dipshit, you literally choose what u say, do and feel.

Peter #3: lying is a sin.

Peter #2: oh so you're religious now?

Peter #3: I could be!

Peter #1: GUYS DO U PROMISE?!?!

Peter #3: fine I promise

Peter #1: how did you guys know you were... ready..

Peter #2: oh OH

Peter #3: elaborate?

Peter #1: you know what I mean Peter 3!

Peter #3: u don't know what I know

Peter #1: I do acc, I AM U

Peter #3: yuh in another dimension it's not the same

Peter #2: you and Gwen were literally doing it last time we all chatted!

Peter #3: it's ok big boy, you can say it

Peter #1: HOW DID U GUYS KNOW U WERE READY FOR SEX?!?!

Peter #2: oh God

Peter #3: alright calm down, We get it.

Peter #1: I hate u.

Peter #3: u love me.

Peter #2: so..sex..you and Mj have never?

Peter #1: if we did do you think I'd be asking u about it, moron

Peter #2: alright no need to be nasty about it

Peter #3: horny teenagers, am I right?

Peter #2: ur horny and ur not even a teenager anymore

Peter #3: don't blow up at me because ur having performance issues

Peter #2: WHAT?!?

Peter #3: I said what I said.

Peter #3: erectile disfunction is common with old age

Peter #2: FOR THE LAST TIME I AM NOT EVEN OLD

Peter #2: and I pleasure my wife frequently, thank you very much!

Peter #1: to much information!

Peter #3: old people sex, I think I'm gonna be sick

Peter #2: I will kill u.

Peter #3: tut tut tut, this isn't about u, this is about Peter 1

Peter #1: thank u. Now advice.

Peter #2: make it special. Make it romantic. Me and Mary Jane had a nice meal, then returned back to my apartment to my candle lit room to well u know.

Peter #3: nah that shit is overrated.

Peter #2: oh really? Prey tell how you first spent the night with ur girlfriend?

Peter #3: alright so I had just beat up some common thief and I was like crazy hungry for pizza so I like buy the pizza and think 'huh I think Gwen would love to share this pizza' so I swing to her house and she let me in her room through the window and she's there looking all sexy so I just ditch the pizza and did her all night instead.

Peter #2: how romantic. Ur a real charmer -_-

Peter #3: ikr

Peter #2: yeah Imma stick with Peter 2's advice because unlike u I'm not that forward and want it to be special

Peter #3: but it was special because it was with her, u get me?

Peter #1: I do actually.. that's pretty good advice actually

Peter #2: I strangely agree?

Peter #3: knew u would 😎

Peter #3: treat ur gals right, they're the better part of us

Peter #2: now ur just milking it.

Peter #1: how do I know I'm doing it right?

Peter #2: instinct?

Peter #3: oh she'll tell u my friend or well.. show you

Peter #1: ok?

Peter #3: listen. trust her, trust yourself and everything will be perfect

Peter #3: omg I am on a roll here!

Peter #2: u got this

Peter #1: alright.. I think I'm ready now.. thanks guys! Means a lot!

Peter #2: happy to help

Peter #3: go out into the world, child, and share my teachings!

Peter #1 has logged off

Peter #3: my baby is all grown up, out taking my advice and getting laid

Peter #2: we taught him well

Peter #3: we did. Point us.

Peter #3 logged off
Peter #2 logged off