Being forced to move so many states away from all that he once knew, Nessa was nervous to tackle his new life. Fortunately, it didn't take long for Nessa to meet a plethora of unique individuals who welcomed him into their lives:
The optimist, the k...
Nessa slept soundly for the first time in weeks that night. He didn't have a dream, for his tired mind was too exhausted to produce one. But that didn't matter. It was the reprieve from all of his stress and worries and memories that kept him at peace throughout the entire night.
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There was a rustling of wind at the back of her mind. It carried a million different thoughts in its breeze, each one screaming into her ears so loud that she was sure that she might go deaf.
Keely had been having a lot of bad days recently. It wasn't fair of her, she knew that. All of her friends seemed to be going through so much, and what did she have to complain about? Her problems were nothing compared to theirs.
But she couldn't seem to stop the thoughts. The ones that she usually quieted through popping pills and smoking weed. Maybe even some acid. She really wanted a tab right then.
She thought of Emi, and she wondered what she could have done to fix things. All along she thought that she was the only one with those doubts and concerns. Then it turned out that Emi had been even more insecure than she was, absolutely horrified of getting her own heart broken again. Keely had just wished that Emi would have talked to her instead of acting so irrationally. Maybe they would have been just fine in the end.
Keely loved her. She couldn't stop loving her no matter how hard she tried. That night she had drank herself to sleep, laying on her mattress entirely naked as she sobbed into the vodka bottle. Emi loved her too, she couldn't stop herself from truly believing that. But Emi had been too weak. Keely wished that she would have just admitted that everything she did was a facade from the very start.
Deep down, Keely always knew that Emi was unstable. She knew that things were never as flawless as they outwardly seemed. However, she hadn't wanted it to be true. Keely was so fixated on her own problems and depression, that she couldn't bear to indulge upon the fact that Emi wasn't any better off than she was.
And so she sat on the couch in her trailer, staring blankly at the wall. To others, she seemed to simply be dozing off or spacing out. In reality, she was drowning in her mind. She really wanted that weed she had stashed in one of her dresses. More than that, she wanted the acid that her parents hid beneath their bed.
On shaking limbs, she forced herself to stand. She made a beeline for her bedroom, rummaging through her clothing rack fervently. The second that her stash was in her hands, she went still once more.
She shouldn't smoke it. She knew that she shouldn't give in to the desire. There wasn't anything inherently wrong with weed, she knew that. But it was never a good thing to become reliant on that feeling of being numb. Everything was just a little bit more tolerable when she was high. She wanted to know what it felt like to be happy without the high, but she didn't seem to have that option.
Emi had given blissful temporary happiness to her. But looking back on it, Keely wondered how much of it was real. Sure, they loved one another, but love didn't solve the true problem. It was something at Keely's very core that was off-kilter and wrong. And if Emi couldn't fix that, then she supposed that getting high wouldn't either.
