Black Swan [JIKOOK]

Hurt

Jimin

Fat pig.

Disgusting whore.

Attention-seeking.

Undeserving.

Untalented.

Jimin Leave Serendipity.

Free Jungkook.

He's making him uncomfortable.

Hundreds of thousands of posts and hashtags had cropped up in just over a week's time.  Hatred of me was actually trending.  It broke something inside me.  I never imagined me loving someone would create so much pain and cruelty.  Or maybe it wasn't that I loved Jungkook.  Maybe it was just me.  Maybe I really wasn't worthy.

I was starting to believe them.  If so many people felt this way...maybe I wasn't good enough.  Maybe I didn't deserve to dance with the rest of the group.  Maybe I didn't deserve Jungkook.  Maybe, maybe, maybe...

The words kept repeating in my head over and over again.  Words from Serendipity's fans.  Words from G.C.F.'s fans.  Words from people I'd never met.  Complete strangers, but I still cared what they thought.  I didn't understand, but I didn't want them to hate me either.

I'll be better.  I have to be what they want me to be.  I can be good enough.

Jungkook

Jimin sat on the hard, wooden floors of the dance studio, eyes glued to his phone.  Tears dripped from his beautiful eyes onto those perfect cheekbones.  How could people say those things about him?  How could anyone even think them?

And to say that he needed to leave Serendipity!  That I needed to be freed from him!  That I was uncomfortable with him!  The only thing I was uncomfortable with regarding him was how seriously he was taking these harsh, unfounded criticisms.  He had barely eaten since it had started trending just over a week ago and he'd practiced so hard every day he'd nearly passed out several times.  He thought I didn't notice, but of course I did.  I rarely ever took my eyes off him. 

"Jimin, come on.  It's time to go," I interrupted his scrolling, tugging on his shirt sleeve.  My voice was laced with sadness despite my best efforts to sound cheerful.

He shook his head.  "No, I'm going to stay a little longer.  There are a few moves I need to work on.  It's not good enough."

I huffed, attempting to contain my anger.  It wasn't directed at him, so he didn't deserve to have that to deal with too.

"It's date night for us.  Come on.  I'm taking you to dinner.  I'm your boyfriend and I've barely seen you this week," I crouched down and enveloped him in my body.  He sighed, leaning into me.  "I miss you."

"I miss you, too," he replied, "but I'm not hungry and I really do need to work on this, Kookie."

Not hungry.

Not good enough.

I need to work on this.

I miss you too.

"Jimin please," I whispered, tears now streaming.

He shook his head.  "No, Kookie, I can't.  Please understand.  It isn't you, it's me.  I just...I just need to work a little harder is all."

Anger welled in my chest.  "No you don't.  You're already perfect."

Jimin seemed to shrink under my anger, hiding his face behind the sleeve of his hoodie as his shoulders began to shake slightly.

I nodded, pursing my lips.  I looked at us from every angle in the mirror-lined room.

"Okay then.  I'm staying with you then.  We can work on it together.  I want to spend time with you and if this is the only way I can get it, then that's how I'll get it," I stated unequivocally.

"But Jungkook, you haven't eaten-"

I cut him off.  "Neither have you.  I'll eat when you eat.  I'll practice when you practice.  I'll sleep when you sleep.  Whatever you do, I'll do it too."

Jimin's expression became stricken with worry.  "You can't!  You'll get sick!  Or hurt!"

Clenching my jaw a little I replied, hands on hips, "And you won't?"

He bowed his head, but I lifted his chin to meet my gaze.

"Jimin, I love you and I'm not going to let you hurt yourself.  I'm not going to stand by and let other people hurt you either."

His eyes widened.  "You...You love me?"

I chuckled.  "Was I not obvious enough?  Yes, Jimin.  I love you.  A lot actually.  I think I knew I would wind up loving you from the first moment I saw you four months ago.  I know you had to have guessed it by now."

Jimin dipped his head, blushing and smiling a beautifully bashful smile.  "I suspected, but you never said.  I love you too, you know."

"I do know.  Now," I stood up, reaching for his hand, "can I please take my boyfriend to dinner and throw him into my bed right after?"

He smacked my shoulder, but that devilish grin said he was more than willing to say yes.

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Again, I remind everyone to love ALL the BTS boys!  I don't want to sound preachy, but it hurts me to see people treat them unkindly.  Every member is worthy and contributes positively to the group.  I will never bash another ship intentionally or bash another member because I think that we should always be respectful of each other as armies and of each member.  They've got enough hate to deal with without having to take it from their fans too.  I love BTS more than I should lol!  I'm not even sorry lol.