Take Me

Chapter Ten

♔ Chapter Ten ♔      

"So," Darby started, "how've you been all these years?"

"Fine," I huffed, still trying to ignore him. I wasn't sure if he was being serious about this whole 'let's be best friends' thing, but it seemed like he was sticking with it. Really, though, I didn't need or want his friendship one little bit. What happened between us was pre-pubescent fondling - not much more, and not much else.

I was trying to be polite, I didn't really like being rude and offensive to people, but at the same time, I wanted him to leave me alone. The last thing I needed was someone out there following me around that knew all of my darkest secrets, and yes, he knew all of my darkest secrets. He not only knew all of the fucked up crap from my medical files, but he also knew the whole gay thing. Right then, no one knew me better than Darby Darling, and he was an absolute stranger to me.

I was freaking out, terrified, shaking a little, because I couldn't trust him. I didn't know him, except how long his dick was at thirteen, and how good of a kisser he was. There was no way to be sure that I could trust him, I couldn't trust anyone with any of my secrets; I didn't trust people, period. People were always unreliable, always leaving me in the dirt. None of them really cared enough, except maybe my mum, but she cared too much.

My mum, bless her sweet soul, cared so much that I almost felt constantly suffocated whenever I was around her. I knew that sometimes I needed her, I needed the way that she suffocated me to make me feel better, because there are times in everybody's lives when all they want is their mum or dad to hug them and tell them that it was all going to be okay, even when you knew it wasn't. But other than those times, her constant buzzing around me was an unnecessary nuisance. Just like Darby Darling, who just wouldn't stop leaving me alone. And I felt like I had to go along with this whole friendship business and put up with him. He knew my secrets, and if I upset him, he might spurt them out to anyone with open ears.

"I had a rough few years, to be honest," he said, still instigating conversation, probably knowing fully that I wasn't much for talking. "The whole sucking dick thing doesn't work in my favour, sometimes."

"So you're gay?" I asked absent-mindedly, forgetting that I wasn't supposed to be talking to him. I wasn't sure what it was about him, but I felt, to some stupid degree, that I could actually talk to him. He seemed nice, like he was a good listener, and if I was honest, he knew every shitty thing about me from those files, and he still wanted to talk to me. That said a lot about him. He wasn't judgmental, he wasn't snooty, like the old ladies on this bus, and he liked me and wanted to be my friend despite my faults and flaws.

"Oh yeah," he said, waving it off casually. I suppose sexuality isn't really as big a deal to him as it is to others. "And don't give me the whole 'it was just a phase' crap, Tom, because our wanking session all those years ago was not just experimentation. You loved it. You're gay too, obviously."

"Sorry, can you just say that a little louder? I don't think the whole bus heard you," I hissed at him. I wasn't usually as snappy as I had been recently, but he didn't seem to mind me snapping at him. He was still smiling all the same, like a lost little puppy.

"Sorry," he said, and it seemed genuine. For about half a second. "Everyone, I'd like to make an announcement." He stood up on the moving bus, and all of the strangers turned to see him. What the fuck was he doing? "Tom here, this is Tom, by the way. Say hi, Tom. Well, anyway, Tom, the guy I'm sitting with, is gay, and he just wanted me to say it a little louder."

I felt a blush sweep over my face, my eyes dropping straight to my lap. My hands found the hem of his shirt, dragging him back down into a seating position, completely struck dumb. I couldn't believe he had just done that. I felt helpless all over again, like I should just run off the bus and lock myself back in my bedroom, closing the curtains and sliding under the covers for eternity, shutting myself out.