SECOND CHANCES(A Lesbian Story)

Chapter 9

"What is wrong, Mika? I can't decide whether you are sickening for something or just plain bored!"

Bored? No it wasn't that.... Not quite. It was just that she did not want to be at home... that she finds this particular Christmas holiday too long. She was missing her usual banter with Vic so much it was almost painful. There was a long time to go before she'd see her again... before she could go back to work... to normal.

She was standing by the window in her parents' living room, motionless, looking out. Morning dew lay thickly on the grass, the trees in the garden are in their greenest and starkly outlined against a sky which was white with clouds. Outside there was a peculiar stillness... no sound of traffic... giving the impression that it was far earlier than seven o'clock... that the day had not yet began.

Inside the house there was a certain lethargy which had enveloped not only Mika but her mother and her sister-in-law. The males of the family had gone for a morning walk, Mika's four-year-old nephew included. Behind her there was the persistent click-click of her mother's knitting needles and the sound of magazine pages being turned over by her sister-in-law Julie.

"Nothing is wrong, Mom. I was just... thinking."

"Thinking?" Her mother looked up, frowning. "You've been pre-occupied for days! What is bothering you? Is it your job?"

"No. I..."

"Is it your boss?" The question came from Julie and she was giving Mika a searching look. "Dad says she's very attractive. Ano nga yung term na ginamit ni Dad? Ayun... magandang-gwapo daw. You have not fallen for her, have you?"

Her father met Vic when he dropped some things for her in the office when he came to Manila for his annual Dentistry Convention.

"Don't be ridiculous!"

"Hey! There is no need to bite my head off. I only..."

"I'm sorry, Julie. I..." She looked at her sister-in-law apologetically, seeing the hurt expression on her face. Julie was a pretty girl, normally slim and petite, but barrel-like now with her second pregnancy.

"No, I have not fallen for her." She turned back to the window hoping she had just told them the truth.

"Of course, you haven't!" Her mother did not even consider it a possibility. And yet Mika knows her mother is aware of her lesbian tendencies. She brought home some of her girl flings in the past, which she introduced as 'best friends' or 'barkada'. She had seen the lez magazines she used to subscribe to. No questions were asked. Mika attributes this to her parents not being ready to hear her truth. Probably they thought it was just a phase for her... or perhaps they were just waiting for her to come out. There are just things that you can't talk about with your parents. And to Mika, this was it.

"But you are getting on with her much better these days, aren't you?" Her mother had never met Vic Galang.

"Yes, Mom. I'm... getting on with her well. Look, I think I'll go out for a walk. It'll give me an appetite for lunch. Maybe I'll catch up with the men..."

She left the house five minutes later, in her sheepskin coat buttoned up to the neck. Baguio weather is at its coldest this time of the year. She had no intention of catching up with the men. She wanted to be alone... to think.

To think? She had done nothing but think since that night with Vic Galang. Her face floated constantly before her eyes... her name was forever on her lips. How positively she had told her that they were going to be lovers. The nerve of that person! Was she right? How could she know with such certainty? Why did the prospect fill her as much with trepidation as it did with excitement?