A Different Kind Of Crush

11: Invalid Emotions

"Y/n... you said you haven't had your first kiss yet, right?"

I glanced back at those eyes as I thought of what to respond.

"Uhh I guess? Are we supposed to do that? We're just thirteen.. I think only older people should do that" I responded with a hesitation.

Giving me a slightly pissed off look. I was suddenly pushed onto the ground as I was given an unreadable look.

"You're wrong, Y/n. Anyone can kiss anyone even if they're just kids"

I give out a confused stare before managing to sent a response to it. "So... We can kiss people just like that?"

A bright smile was shown before I felt a weight pinned on me down onto the floor with a light skin damping onto my lips as I lay there confused to what's happening.

Our mouths touching but I don't have any idea what it meant until a weight on me lifted.

"So that's what a kiss feels like"

I furrowed my eyebrows as I think to myself. "So... My first kiss was with you?" I asked.

I felt a hand damp on my cheeks before hearing a reply. "Uh hmm.. I like it more if it's with you so I think we'll be doing it a lot more often"

Letting out a hesitant smile, I open my mouth to respond. "Is this okay?"

I heard a chuckle echo the room. "Of course.. And it'll be our little secret"

A smile form into the corner of my lips before I gotten pulled up from the floor and felt the hand interlock with mine before dragging me out of the room.
   
   
 
"Y/n, heyy"

I heard somebody called out to me that snapped me back to reality and found Anne snapping her fingers in front of my zoned out face.

"Sorry, what was it?" I quickly asked as I composed myself.

She gave me a hard look before opening her mouth to talk again. "So I was saying..."

What she said after didn't make sense to me anymore since I found myself zoning out again. I just don't understand why that memory of mine came back all of a sudden. It's been a year since the last time we did that session of ours that was invented a long time ago and now I'm eighteen years old with a mature mindset. I can already figure it out what it meant but it's a part of me now that I can't just let go off.

I guess it can't be helped..

"...are you good with that?"

"hmm?" humming as a response when I turn my attention back to my cousin and she look at me frustratingly upon noticing my lack of attention.

"ugh where's your mind at Y/n?!" frustrated as she was, I just chuckled at her.

It's currently 1 in the afternoon and I'm with Anne at the side of the cliff far where the rest are having fun since I declined the offer. Cliff diving is scary for me since I don't know how to swim and Anne here, decided to stay with me so I won't be that lonely. I pushed her to go with them though but she insisted.

"you should go, I know it's getting boring for you here" I stated with a chuckle as I stare at the guys enjoying from a far at the bottom of the cliff.

She looked at me, hesitating whether to agree with that or not and then let out a sigh. "but.. you're gonna be alone here" she mumble before pouting at me that made me chuckle.

I look over at my side and noticed Ariana from a far, talking with her friends at the side of the beach before letting out a hum that caught Anne's attention to look at the direction I'm currently looking. "I think I'll just head there so don't worry about me" I told her with a smile when I glance back at her.

She sigh before returning the same gesture as she look back at the guys before averting her eyes back to me and lightly tapping my shoulder as she started walking towards where they are.

I started walking towards where Ariana's at and suddenly my phone started ringing in my pocket. Picked it out from the pocket, I saw the ID caller on the screen that stopped my tracks.

I gripped my phone before breathing in some courage as I answer the call and noticed Ariana already looking at my way. She was smiling at me when I heard what the other line said that made me look away from her.

"...okay I'll be there" I just simply respond as I stare at the thin air thinking about my decisions.

Maybe it's time to have a chat about what our relationship is really about..
  
   
   
Ariana's POV
   
   
   
I gently furrowed my eyebrows upon noticing Y/n heading back to the hotel with a different aura somehow. Averting my eyes back at my friends, I decided to follow Y/n since I'm curious what she's up to and talk to her at some point since I kind of enjoy having small conversations with her.

She was already gone when I woke up in the morning so I didn't got the chance to chat up with her so I think this is a good opportunity without them knowing about it.

As I gotten closer to the building, I catch a glimpse of her back turning at the back of the hotel which I knew had a small park in it. I slowed down my pace as I think about why she's heading her with that unusual aura of hers that I haven't seen before.

Maybe she's meeting up with someone?

The thought entered my mind in a second before I breathe in some air and slowly peak my head in the corner of the building.

I stood there with a wide eyes at the revelation in front of me that I couldn't comprehend at the moment.

Huh?

My hand subconsciously gripped my phone tight as I watch the two devour each other's lips without being discreet about it.

I slowly furrowed my eyebrows when I began felting my heart arch in pain. I'm not sure why but I don't know how to react to this but felt disappointed at the same time. I mean I'm not in the position to feel this way so whatever I'm feeling now is invalid. To me at least.

I broke out of my deep thoughts when I noticed Y/n pulling away as she stare at me with her unreadable expression.

"Y/n?" Kendall asked before turning around to look at my direction with a confused gaze but turned into seriousness when she saw me.

"s-sorry, I went the wrong way" I quickly reasoned before forcing myself to give out an apologetic look and turn around to quickly leave the place.

I need to get out. I need to breathe some air and clear my mind. I feel like I'm suffocating in that place with all these questions in my mind.. with these invalid emotions that wanted to come out from me.
    
   
   
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Yes, I know. I'm taking too long updating this one so bear with me guys :')

The reason why is because I only write in my free time and if I'm in the mood cuz I'm quick to change them so I'll get lazy to think about what to write. Also I was focusing more to my other story so yeahh
   
Also fun fact, every time I'm writing the chapters, I'm always listening to Boyfriend by Ariana since it literally fits this story and everything so expect the slow progress.