Chapter 14: No winter but a soldier

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He squeezes his eyes shut pressing his lips together and I have no idea what is going on. I see his face relaxing but he still keeps his eyes closed. He gulps clenching his jaw and I still find it hard to breathe. Come on already! What is it? We needs to know!

I hear him chuckle as he opens his eyes and he stands up, lifting his eyes and there it is, the look I have been wanting to see on him for so long now. I would recognize that look anytime. I feel a smile spreading on my face and a rush of shivers running through my body. My legs run towards him and my arms wrap around his body spilling some coffee in the process. I feel his arm holding me tight and I don't want to let go of him. I hear his breathing sharply as the muscles of his abdomen contract and I am about to cry too.

"You didn't keep your promise." He sobs holding me even tighter than I thought was possible. I feel a tear escaping my eye as I hear his voice. I missed that voice, I missed how it sounded when he was talking to me.

"Not saying it back was starting to softly kill me," I whisper and he kisses my head holding me tight.

"What?"

"I love you too."

I try to regain control of my voice but everything is so intense in my body I cannot truly function. I feel him leaning out and I see his eyes smiling at me. I feel his hand on my face and as his thumb is wiping a tear away, I smile.

"I love you so much Y/n" He cries and I cup his face bringing it to mine kissing him. Shit, I missed these lips. He leans out looking at me and it's like he cannot get enough of seeing me. I understand him completely. "Please don't let anyone touch my mind again. I cannot lose the memory of you again." He speaks and I chuckle promising him that. I kiss his hand and I feel his kissing my forehead. "I am so sorry." He whispers and I am in so much need to just touch him, I hug my arms around him.

"It was not your fault." I still feel my voice shaking. He travels his fingers through my hair holding me close to his chest.

"I am sorry for almost not letting you do this." He corrects himself and I shake my head. "I have to admit it's inspiring the length you went to fix me when I showed no sign of wanting it." He smiles looking at me and I smile biting my bottom lip.

"You never did know what you wanted, James." I sigh through a smile and he nods pulling me close again.

"If I knew that the procedure would wipe the memory of you too, I wouldn't have ever done it. I know this sounds wrong, but I need you to know anyway. I remember seeing you for the first time here in Wakanda and I hate the empty feeling I had, I hate how broken you looked. I am so sorry." He tells me and I already know, but it feels so good to hear it.

"You have no idea how good it is to hear you say this, James." I admit it because I finally recognize him again.

"Speaking of. What did you say to me when you spoke Russian to me?" I ask too curious. I have been thinking about that for so long, trying to remember the phrase but it was way too long to ever remember. He smiles looking at me and shakes his head.

"Something along the lines of me being an idiot because I felt like you really loved me and still I
didn't want to do anything to remember you because a part of me felt like I never deserved your love." He tells me and I nod looking at him.

"Well you can say that all you want, but please don't reject me again for loving you. Everyone deserves love, especially you." I kiss him and I see a soft smile as he looks at me

He feels so embarrassed for some reason. "You gotta stop listening to sad Russian songs. They are too depressing." He says remembering our moment near the lake and I shake my head looking at him.

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