zhongluc headcanons <3

my loves ☆

this chapter is actually going to be mainly through text 💁🏽‍♀️ (edit; not really, i lied)

i present to u; zhongluc (+itto + childe) as a poly relationship yayyy

pls don't flame me ik this ship is just coming out of nowhere but i have zero ff ideas ok.

in which 4 lovers have one groupchat.

modern au duhhh
you'll know who's who from the users when u see it LOL

they're allll adults so ADULT HUMOR should be fineee.
____________________________________

it was a long day for all of them. itto with a job as a personal trainer, zhongli working at a funeral home, diluc working two different jobs and childe.. well he made toys -- but it was still mentally draining to keep up with on a daily. fortunately, they were all getting off of work or already off of work by now. itto and zhongli had been in one of their shared houses together.

naturally, no matter how much they all loved each other there was no way it would be smart to have four grown men all in one house, no matter how big. they had bought two houses that were rigt across the street from each other, making it convenient for all of them. (usually zhongli and itto stayed together in one house and diluc and childe. the two irresponsible idiots are not allowed to be alone together.)

still, even though itto had been in the same house as zhongli, he grew bored very quickly and man was it hard to deal with if he gets too bored.

foursome

titmaster: babies are u guys almost home yet ;(
titmaster: I'M BOREDDDD

assmaster: itto dear, i am literally in the same house as you.

titmaster: okay???? i love u but i love di (a/n;; pronounced as "dee") and chiiii </3
titmaster: get home faster flat asses ♡

abmaster is online.

abmaster: i thought we didn't body shame here? shame on u 😕

titmaster: sorry chi, i'll help pay for ur bbl

abmaster: and ppl say romance is dead 🥺🌹🌹

master is online.

m

aster: don't be dumb, nobody needs a bbl
master: i'll grab ur asses no matter how big or small anyways

master deleted a message.

abmaster: UM HELLO TO U TOO BABE? UMSIABAK

titmaster: stay true to your words when u get home then xoxo

master: oh?

master: that better not be a challenge arataki

titmaster: ARE U KIDDIN ME IS RHIS ACTUALLY DILUC
titmaster: YOU NEVER INDULGE IN OUR SHIT BUT TODAY U DO??

assmaster: maybe our cold diluc has finally warmed up
assmaster: perhaps he missed us a lot this time?

master: gosh, you always see through me.
master: i MAYBEEE do miss my favorite people.

a

bmaster: didi pls is this u ong

assmaster: hello, whoever hacked diluc must step forward before i ram your face into the ground.

assmaster: you guys are going to make him flustered
assmaster: he'll probably leave

master is offline

assmaster: figures.

abmaster: 6 figures i was only four 🥱

titmaster: SO MUCH MONEY I CAN'T SEE RHE FLOOR

abmaster: gosh i love u
abmaster: im right around the corner im running to kiss youbgiys

assmaster: can't wait for you to arrive my love ♥︎

abmaster: CREAMS
abmaster: SCRWAMS
abmaster: OPEN THE DOOR IMMEDIATELY

abmaster is offline.

assmaster: oh dear.

titmaster: are u calling me or are u praying he won't be loud

assmaster: a bit of both dear, but its okay. we're all used to it.

all are offline.

as the other two had just gotten off their phones to greet childe, they noticed how unusually quiet it was. he had yelled (over text) to open the door yet only knocked a few times.

when both zhongli and itto had opened the door, they were met with an unusually flushed childe standing next to diluc who had the slightest bit of a smirk worn on his face.

"awww no fair, you were first to kiss each other when you got home", itto sighed in defeat. before he could even pout, zhongli wrapped his arm around his waist.

"you wanted to be first to kiss us all when we arrived hm?" itto only replied with a nod as he looked into his eyes, refocusing his gaze on the red heads.

pulling them into the house, he took off their coats for them and put them exactly where they belonged (only happens like every other week that he meets zhongli's ocd demands) -

which made them very confused. and after that - well he just looked away from them with a frown on his face since they ruined his plans. communicating through only a glance, they knew what to do.

one at a time they had all wrapped their arms around the big man, hugging him tightly, which only made him crush them all against him even tighter.

"itto could you loosen your grip a bit", diluc had asked out of nowhere.

"mm, nah. you're all good."

"i'm not."

turning their gazes to diluc all of them tried to stifle their laughter, except for itto who had literally laughed out loud.

"guess your milkshakes bring the boys to the yard"

fin °.

i knoww this is supposed to be a zhongluc centric story but.

who doesn't want a relationship full of men who you can trust with your drink at a party???