zhongluc headcanons <3

nobody but you. ☆

sorry dears, it's angst time.<3 this chapter will be LONG. so please, hydrate while you read this shit show.

one-shot contains the following

-- ragbros but sad
-- depressed thoughts
-- mental breakdowns
-- fluff (in the end)
-- 4th wall breaking

「 ⚠️ * 」
> svicidal thoughts might appear, if there are there will be a warning before the paragraph starts.

> there's a reality check during his episode, for anyone who may be an irl, i warn u ♥︎.

in which nobody truly cares. (except his beloved)
* canon universe

〔 ᥫ᭡ 〕

" ... and i hate to have to do this on your birthday. happy birthday.

- from the calvary captain. "

diluc's eyes had finished reading the letter from the knights. of course, they'd pushed more work on him. this is why they're insufficient. he wasn't even a knight but of course since he was the dark knight hero he'd been getting work as well as if he was one.

was this his punishment for wanting to do good deeds? was the only thing left for him to just keep taking work because he himself was doing a better job than the goddamn knights himself? and on his birthday, he was spending the entire day alone in his manor.

the only people present were his maids and even they didn't talk to him much that day. now yes, he did usually tell them to not come in during work hours on a regular day.

but... it's his birthday?

any other year they'd pay attention to him but this year they carried on as if it wasn't their job anymore. his maids, who he'd never treat like they weren't human beings, didn't even acknowledge him today.

was... was nobody happy he was alive? did nobody care that he made it another year? I̶S̶ ̶I̶T̶ ̶N̶O̶T̶ ̶T̶H̶A̶T̶ ̶I̶M̶P̶R̶E̶S̶S̶I̶V̶E̶ ̶W̶H̶E̶N̶ ̶Y̶O̶U̶'̶R̶E̶ ̶N̶O̶T̶H̶I̶N̶G̶ ̶B̶U̶T̶ ̶A̶ ̶M̶E̶R̶E̶ ̶B̶A̶R̶T̶E̶N̶D̶E̶R̶?̶ but no, that can't be it right? this is happening because he's good at what he does.

right?

ℝ𝔦𝑔𝐇Ｔ я𝕖άĐεⓇ? Ⓣħ𝕖Ｙ ς𝔞ℝ𝑒 Δβσùⓣ 𝓂Ｅ, гᎥģĤＴ?
(right reader? they care about me, RIGHT?)

.....

he stood up from his desk, the piles of work had made him sick to his stomach just looking at them. he wouldn't do them, not today. he was tired of them putting work on him. though in reality, it was just his brother- well. kaeya. kaeya was the one putting the work on him.

he has no real reason to consider him family after all. his real family ended the same night his father died. he had no family. nobody was ever going to be there for him again, why would anyone care about diluc?

rich, healthy, bartending, master diluc? master diluc who could fight for himself and would never have to fend for himself since he's so rich. he's basically bred for success.

WRONG. none of that even matters to him. he'd give up so much money just to have someone care about him everyday. someone who cuts their work to sit there with him on his 'happy day'. someone who'd give him hugs when he's clearly down.

someone who loves him from infinity to infinity.

the hallway had felt like it was going on for hours. the tears in his eyes were so blurry, so salty as they rolled down his cheeks and seeped between his lips. this was pathetic. but he'd constantly felt this aching emptiness in his chest, perhaps in his heart.

he had hardly made it into the doorway of his empty bedroom. the door was wide open, a full display of the entire room. the space was so much. nothing stood out from the rest. not even his room was full.

his knees had buckled in, his hands being the only thing supporting him fully so his face didn't hit the floor. the tears he shed had only soaked his rug. he had given up, allowing himself to lay on the floor as he cried to his hearts content. he didn't care if the maids seen him or if anyone seen him.

after crying so long it was only natural he'd end up sleeping. 'somehow, the carpet is really comfy', he'd last thought to himself before allowing sleep to overcome him.

〔 ᥫ᭡ 〕

when he awoke, he had no idea what time it was. all he knew is that he was somehow in bed, in his pajamas with his hair down now. "who the hell...?"

as if to answer his previous question, the last person to cross his mind came in. zhongli. his zhongli, his lover... who he'd entirely forgotten about earlier. he had his usual smile on his face as he'd let himself in. but diluc was just overall confused.

"when.. when did you get here? and how- oh my gosh, you probably seen me look so unsightly. i'm so sorry." his apology had fallen on deaf ears, zhongli chose not to reply to that at this moment.

with no context, he handed him a fork before signaling for him to wait a second, exiting again. and when he returned his raven was still confused. he came back but this time with slices of cake on two plates for them both, pressing a kiss to his exposed forehead due to his bedhead.

"happy birthday, my dear. i wish the absolute best for you for the rest of your days to come". as if the kind words weren't enough, a toothy smile from him had topped it all off.

before he was even aware, the tears fell again. except this time, it was for a different reason. unbeknownst to zhongli, he'd cupped his face and wiped his tears with his thumbs instantly, gazing into his eyes with worry.

diluc had cupped his face the same way, only caressing his cheeks instead before kissing him quickly. "thank you, i'm glad you're here."

of course he was being silly earlier. nobody cared, that much was true. except that didn't apply to zhongli.

"nobody but you, huh?"
-- "luc? i don't understand."
"nothing my love, let's eat cake."

IK ITS NOT HIS BDAY BUT GAHH BIRTHDAY ANGST IS SO YUMMY

just like bday cake
just like diluc's cak- anyways.

I HOPE YA LIKED THE CHANGE OF THEMES RECENTLY. smut then angst? im a beast guys.

ciao dears, until the next chapterrrr